My Friend is Expecting

My friend is having a baby; her baby is due in twelve days.

Let me back up, I should explain that I do not have children of my own, birthed by me. There are lots of reasons why I do not, and, again, I’ll save that for a future post. However, I do have three beautiful step girls. Well, they’re actually women and well on their way to creating their own lives. But, it feels weird to call them step-women. 

I have no personal memory or experience with the process of having a baby, except for the one time I birth-coached a single friend of mine back in the Army. I went with my friend to many weeks of birthing classes and, eventually, coached and nurtured her for the entire birthing process in the hospital. I was 18 years old at the time, and looking back, even with all those classes under our belts, I had no idea what I was doing and, as a first-time Mom, I don’t think my friend, did, either. The cool thing was that it didn’t really matter and the baby boy was born a perfect, healthy, squishy, and goopy baby boy. It was quite an amazing experience, really.

I wasn’t prepared to be the one asked to give him his first baby bath in the delivery room.

“Umm, what? Do you have rubber gloves?”

Sorry, joking aside, it was actually a really awesome experience.

I still have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to babies. I was the youngest of four kids, so I missed out on having baby siblings, too. I am certainly a woman with instincts, and spent a lot of time babysitting when I was younger, but, still, babies seem to be foreign little beings who are difficult to figure out. Let me be clear, I love babies, but I feel a lot better when babies’ moms are around to translate when I can’t read babies’ lips.

When my lovely friend, the one due in twelve days, started looking into baby classes and all things baby well into her second trimester, she found a plethora of options and asked if I would consider having involvement when she enters labor and gives birth to her new baby.

“Sure, I’d love it!” I’m thinking rubber gloves the entire time.

After extended discussion with her partner, they decided to have an underwater birth.

“What, an underwater birth?”

Now I’m thinking—dive suit.

“No, really, are you sure this is OK?”

“Um, do you want me in the room with you?”

“Sure, whatever you’re comfortable with, I’d just like you to be involved.”

“How do you feel about personal protective equipment?”

Now that more months have passed, they’ve decided to plan for a closer-to-traditional hospital birth. I’m set to go and on call until the big day. I am sure I still won’t have any idea what I’m doing, but my experience tells me we’ll do just fine.

I’m not sure if my friend knows what she’s got herself into by asking me to perform such a monumental task—I’ve tried to be as open and honest about my lack of birthing experience. Quite honestly, I feel extremely honored being asked to be a part of this amazing day. There is one thing that’s for sure, I’m going to make sure she has all the support I can give her with lots of hugs and encouragement.

No extra gear required.

P.S. If anyone out there knows any tried-and-true pearls of wisdom that could help me to better support my friend, I’m all ears! ; )