Clutter Capades

~My desk, in all its glory

A Description of How I Removed Clutter from My Life

The sky darkens as I pour a glass of merlot and get to work.

OK, hot shot, let’s start with the desk, I mumble under my breath. Letters, koans, stickers, checkbooks, a pen cup, ruler, sunglasses, a spent movie ticket, a flash drive from a former employer, glasses, business cards, scissors, and my old ’95 scientific calculator litter the scene. I can’t realistically get rid my glasses or checkbooks, but I could clear out the letters and recycle the spent movie ticket. Great, there’s a start!

I better freshen up my glass of vino before I get going.
OK, better.

No, I’m not in the mood to go through the letters, and the movie ticket brings back good memories. Better keep it.

Well, maybe it would suit my mood to start clearing the clutter from my kitchen. The kitchen area comprises a small space, so every little clear space counts. I can work on uncluttering my desk later.

A glass vase sits empty, the iron I left out has cooled, a bruised apple needs to be tossed, and dishes need to be put away having been washed this morning. But, throwing away the apple would be a shame, there’s still a healthy section. I could cut out the bruise and eat the remainder, not be so wasteful. Better keep it. At least I can put away the dishes. Well, no, I can probably use them in a few minutes when I make dinner. No need to bother with those right now.

Hmmm, maybe a little more merlot will do the trick as I migrate to the living room.

The bed is made (good for me),  a stack of thirteen books with dog-eared pages await my eyes, a sweatshirt lies in the corner of the room and the most recent issue of The New Yorker begs to be read. There’s no need to move the books, I haven’t finished them, after all. Lately, the fall air necessitates extra layers, so I’ll need the sweatshirt in close proximity later on. I’m sure I’ll get to the The New Yorker tonight. Better leave it there.

Oh, and back to that glass of wine.

And that, my friends, is how to clear clutter from your life.
Not.

(I’m joking in this post, but I did progress through a version of this story last week [and a little less wine - ha]. While I’m basically happy with the ‘amount’ of possessions I own, I still find difficulty getting rid of things no matter the method—donation, recycle bin, or dumpster. Certain things can’t be pried out of my fingers. Please give me advice—what mental acrobatics do you perform to get rid of clutter?)