[Gorgeous art and photo by Lisis Blackston—order a print!
Graphic design by yours truly—thank you for letting me use your art, Lisis!]
Here’s a quick funny before I get to the meat of my post today…
If you run a blog, have you looked at your keyword report recently?
I took a peek at mine this morning out of curiosity, and ended up surprised and also with a huge smile. I had no idea these key-word searches were bringing people to my blog. I spend ZERO time with SEO (I know, I know, bad girl) and I consider blogging primarily a creative outlet and a means to meet others.
If you’ve been following my blog, you may get a chuckle out of this handful of key words I cherry picked from the list. It especially makes me lighten up to see those in bold.
- without you alga i m just a fungus (Exactly!!)
- amount of dna not part of your body
- a passion for writing
- what is a fortress
- cast away tomorrow the sun will rise and you never know what the tide will bring
- how to preserve lichen for miniatures
- massage therapist torn out
- confessions massage therapist
- jane makes me feel warm and loving (Shaka that!)
- best ways to take care of a pulled pectoral
- almost all bases in dna are the same in all people
- nimbles of science
- slicker than frog snot (What???)
On a more serious note…
As you know, I let a little cat out of the bag recently. In some respects, I felt horrible for not being up front about my MS from day one. But, I think you understand and I thank you for your understanding and acceptance.
I want to say thank you to all of you angels out there who sent me a personal email with such kind words. I equally want to thank all of you who took the time to visit my blog. It may have not come through, but it was a very difficult post to write.
When I wrote the post, I had been through a particularly rough week and weekend, and was really feeling pissed off and sick and tired from having this stupid disease (yeah, both the literal, “sick and tired” as well as the proverbial, “sick and tired”). And yes, I was feeling sorry for myself. Blegh.
Today, I feel more energy, don’t feel as achy and dizzy (vertigo hits me often, too), and have more of my wits about me. So, Ms. MS and I had a talk and we made some amends. She reminded me that adjusting to living with her has also changed my life for the better, along with all the crappy things.
So, as an apology for throwing Ms. MS under the bus yesterday, I’m listing all the things that my Ms. MS has done on the positive side.
Here it goes. (Are you listening, Ms. MS?)
- Ms. MS forced me to leave a job that I didn’t enjoy and knew deep down was not my calling.
- Ms. MS introduced me to so many awesome people that have supported me and held me up on their shoulders while I am adjusting to her shenanigans. Thank you—you know who you are! ~xo Without Ms. MS, I would have not met you.
- Ms. MS made me realize that my husband, Scott, will do anything for me, showed me his undying love, and made me finally understand what true love means. I love you, Moochie! I am the luckiest woman in the world.
- Ms. MS made me search the vastness of my soul and find a healing oasis. I know I can go back there now—I have my map—and I’ll find my way back to the oasis as the dark times may surely come again soon, maybe even tomorrow.
- Ms. MS forced me to remember how to meditate. I had done this as a practice years ago, but stopped when I became too wrapped up in life. She reminded me that peace is only a breath away.
- Ms. MS connected me to my love of writing again, not just my previously employed style required for scientific publications or marketing speak about deciphering genomes, but writing about living with passion, finding peace, engaging in meaningful work, speaking up for what’s important, and cross-training one’s life.
- Ms. MS forced me to realize that the most beautiful thing anyone can do is to help others. So, by putting me through her hell I may better help someone else.
Thank you for all of your support (and for putting up with my whining). Please remember in this one life we have—as friends, family, and spouses come and go—you’re all you’ve ever needed. You can do this! And please let me know what I can do to help. 
Create a Great Day!
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Awww… Jane makes me feel warm and loving too!!! I love that one!!! Not sure I want to know how you got the frog snot thing, though.
What a lovely surprise to find my art on display over here in your living room! I clicked over when I saw that title because… c’mon, that’s one hell of a title, and then I saw my little “Flow”… all grown up, with a life of its own! You’re the best!
As for Ms. MS… she’s part of the bundle package you signed up for when you entered into this life. I don’t know WHY, but I know she is. And, as part of you, she makes me feel warm and loving too. I probably wouldn’t have met you if it weren’t for her… you’d be too busy out conquering the world!
Lisis´s last blog ..15 Brilliant Thoughts About Unschooling (and my own)
Hey LisisMB, you gifted artist, you!
You know, I’m sure the frog snot thing came from my post called, “Fine as a Frog’s Hair,” when I was joking about nicknames and sayings.
In fact, that reminds me, you taught me one of my all-time-favorite sayings, “She (he) can shuck it right down to the cob!”
Thanks again for freely giving me rights to use your art, Lisis, that’s quite a gift. I love it and don’t take that lightly.
Thanks regarding your words about my constant companion. You’re absolutely right, without her I wouldn’t have you, and all said and done, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thanks for being the best friend anyone could ask for. I appreciate you!!!
~xo
Ditto what Lisis said…and ditto what you said right back to her. Both of you are so incredibly awesome and talented and super and amazing and and…
Anyone who knows either one of you should count themselves very lucky. Since I know you both, I am one of the luckiest men in the universe!
Seriously, what would I do without you two? You’re two of the greatest friends a person could have.
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Thou Shalt Not Sell Out
True, Jay. I’m gonna have to agree with you once again.
Awww…now I’m blushing!
Jay, wow, you are a remarkable man. Ditto what everyone said – you ROCK!
I love that I met both of you. You are truly two divine souls.
Big hugs and thank you for not selling out!
~xo
“Seriously, what would I do without you two? You’re two of the greatest friends a person could have.”
How right you are, Jay! : )
Alison | Quest for Balance´s last blog ..15 Brilliant Thoughts About Unschooling (and my own)
Hi Lori,
Does SEO search pick up on hidden meaning or your thoughts as well as the written word. Oh big brother is everywhere, even in SEO search.
What snot have YOU been thinking about?????
However seriously, sometimes we hide things as we have been trained to do, stiff upperlip and not letting on so we are not seen as complainers or for whatever other reason. But that no longer counts in living a way where we connect at an honest level.
So, thank you for sharing so we can authentically carry on our relationship with you and be groovy with the both of you, snot and all?!
As you can see that snot really really fascinated me.
Hugs to you, Wilma
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Part 2. Making requests, an underestimated skill.
You are funny! (lol)
I know, sometimes I’m freaked out by the search engine prowess happening around us. Even NPR did a story recently about how we’re all slowly loosing our privacy simply via our IP address. I digress…
Thank you for being one of those people’s shoulders I’ve been standing on, Wilma. I’ve been reading your comments and blog before you even knew I was there.
I appreciate you, Wilma, and thank you for being a part of my life, snot and all!
That is a huge part of how I feel about my brother’s student loan. I cosigned the loan and have paid over $30,000 on it since.
It’s changed almost everything about what whether I would go to law school (I didn’t) about filing bankruptcy (I did) and about quitting a job that was sucking my will to live.
I know MS isn’t the same but I do know that the awful part of our lives can provide us an opportunity for conscious focus.
P.S. {HUG}
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..How to Rock Your Life
You inspire me, Hayden. Thank you for saying what you did here.
You know, it took me a long time to come out of debt and I understand how crushing debt can be – maybe not to the same degree as I don’t know what your exact situation is, but at least I can empathize. {hug}
Your comment reflects the numerous factors that have the potential to crush lives, whether they are related to disease (physical), financial, social, marital, etc. and you said it well, all these events can create opportunity.
Hugs back to you for overcoming many of these potential crushing life blows. You are an amazing woman, Hayden. Keep on keepin’ on, girlfriend! Thanks for your comment here today.
~xo
Hey Lori this is an interesting post you got here!
Its good to know that Ms.MS is also Ms.benefactor in ways of your life.
It’s great that you’ve adjusted your life living with her, she can be a pain in the ass, but she is also the driving force for the great improvements you have made in your life.
People usually succeed this way xD, they usually improve their life conditions drastically because they are in desperation of coming out of pain – which I assumed you did.
I applaud you for looking at your MS like that, unlike many people who sees it as a burden, you see it with a different association, and that association is an extremely important factor for motivating you for having a better and healthier life.
Anyways I hope you feel completely okay by the end of the week and have a nice relaxing weekend
– Oh Halloween! 
Steven
Hey Steven, thanks for coming here today! Now you see why I need your awesome comic prowess so much?
Well, even though I’ve listed some things that MS has done for me in a positive light, I still have times I’d much rather go run a marathon than deal with her crapola! But, I’m doing the best I can to embrace that cow for now. (lol)
Thank you for your well wishes! I don’t know that it’s in the cards that I’ll ever feel “completely OK” but at least I have methods to put me in a better place. And that I will do!
Great blog, btw, I like the color and, you know, yellow is a very powerful color – the color of the Chi. You got the chops, Steven!
Have fun with it!
I want to say thank you for sharing this part of who you are. It has shown me that someday I will be able to see the good in the trials I face in my own life. I am not there yet, but you have inspired me. If you can embrace MS and see the positive side of it, then I can surely see the positive in that which brings me down. Thank you for being you. You are a bright and shiny soul and I am a better person because of it.
Jill´s last blog ..Knowing when to stay down
It all comes in time, Jill. I can’t say that I’m *there* yet either, but I realized recently that being angry, upset, and whining was not making me feel any better. Really, NO ONE ELSE can make us feel better but us. No one can have this disease FOR me. I have to simply learn to live with her or continue to beat myself up because of her.
Your words here today mean a lot to me; I appreciate you. Because of people like you, going out on my blogging limb has been worthwhile. Thank you, Jill, thank you.
That list is a hoot! I look at mine from time to time too. It really does make you wonder what people “out there” are thinking, doesn’t it?
It’s easy to love the good in ourselves – quite a challenge to embrace anything less than good in our own eyes – not that we are to JUDGE anything as good or bad, but let’s face it, we do. You have, perhaps unknowingly, given us all courage by your sharing. And hopefully, as you see MsMS in a “new” light, we are motivated to tackle our own less-than-perfect things with a new attitude.
Hugs of thanks for being you – all of you!
Thank you, Suzen. You are a very kind soul!
I won’t sugar coat this, it has been very difficult to accept the cards I’ve been dealt. But, like I told Jill above, it was almost getting to the point that my anger and frustration was making me feel even worse that all the effects of my MS and the side-effects from the meds I take to help prevent further damage due to my MS.
But, yes, with acceptance comes a new sort of power and control that you’ll feel in your life. Because, in the end, you are absolutely in control.
Thank you for accepting, “all of me.” That means more than you know.
Cheers to you, Suzen.
~xo
In the immortal words of Leroy Jethro Gibbs: “Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.”
Only kidding, honestly. But my dear, please don’t feel you have to apologize to us for having a human moment. [hugs] You know I kind of ‘get it’, and can sympathize in my own small way. You are an incredible person, and yes, though MS is part of what made you who you are, it’s certainly only ONE part of a big, wonderful package.
Whenever you’re having one of those human moment, you go ahead and reach out. Your blog-friends are here to send you love and healing energy, big time!
And Frog Snot? I want a post about Frog Snot!
Gayze´s last blog ..Creature Thoughts: November 2009
Hey Gayze, my NaNoWriMo partner in crime!
You getting ready??? 
Three days to go!
You are funny!! I love the Gibbs quote. Very funny…thanks for, again, adding laughter to my life. I crave laughs and can’t get enough of them.
Thank you for your encouragement of me to reach out. You know, that actually made me think deeply about reaching out. I have tended in my life to be the caretaker, the strong one, the teacher, and the “example” to others. To seem needy or weak in any way would have been unseemly to me just a year ago. So, those words to reach out mean a lot to me and really help me out quite a bit. I need to be better about that.
Thank you, Gayze! I’ll get right to the frog snot post. In the mean time, you can type “Fine as a frog’s hair” into the search box to see my post about that…
Have a great day, superstar!
Hey Lori, I love that one of the search terms for finding your site is “amount of dna not part of your body” – really ike to know the answer to that one
Secondly I have a great a mount of respect for you just from your post about Mrs MS. I truly know from many experiences that perception, attitude and mindset is everything. Thank you for being a peaceful warrior and contributing to others who need this strength.
All the best to you,
Jayson
jayson´s last blog ..WordPress Thesis Theme Makes Life Better
Hi Jayson, nice to see you here!
And guess what, the answer to your question is probably surprising. There’s lots of DNA in/on your body that is not “your own.” Everything from food you’ve eaten, bugs, molds, bacteria, microorganisms, etc. It’s actually a very interesting question – maybe I’ll do a post about that sometime soon. I mine as well use that Ph.D. for something!
More importantly, thank you so very much for your kinds words. And, wow, I loved being called a peaceful warrior. That made me sit up a little straighter! Those are powerful words, my friend! Keepers!
Thank YOU for being here today and making my day brighter. I sincerely appreciate your support, candor, and grace.
Be well, my friend, and I hope to see you around cyber space again very soon!
Warm Regards – Lori
~xo
Hi Lori,
I am always late to these things. However, better late than never.
That last one about slicker than frog snot made me laugh out loud. Keywords can be funny. Goes to show you that people have an interesting way of looking at things and searching things.
As you know, I already knew about the MS and I have always told you that you are awesome for how you are handling the situation. It is easy to be optimistic and happy when life is going smoothly. You truly get to know someone when they are hit with something painful whether it is an illness or something else. You are truly a wonder woman and don’t you ever forget it. Of course, I am always available to remind you.
Hey Nadia! You’re not late, it’s only noon Pacific time!
Yeah, me, too! I have a post in my archives called, “Finer Than a Frog’s Hair” joking about sayings and nicknames, and I hadn’t heard of the frog snot thing before. I was totally laughing, too! I learned a new one.
Thank you, Nadia, for all you’ve done to help me. You are one of the people I was referring to when I wrote the positives for this post. You are such a kind soul, it makes me emotional just thinking about all the kind things you said to me, putting me on your shoulders when I needed it the most. I can’t find the right words to express how much I appreciate you!
In fact, you’re the one, long ago, that reminded me that even though I’m no longer, physically, a wonder woman, you still consider me a wonder woman even more so now. Those words stuck and have helped me to form my oasis! Yes, you’re part of my peaceful oasis!!
I’m always here for you, too, Nadia. You just say the word, and I’m here to help!
Cheers to you, my friend.
~xo
Hi Lori — thanks for this — now the title of your blog has a deeper meaning for me than I saw before. And I have a deeper grasp of how nimble and agile you really have been, adjusting to this situation and even recognizing it as fierce grace.
Hi Chris,
You know, when I was putting my blog together, thinking of titles and the like, striving to be nimble (body and mind) was, and still is, at the core of my soul. The core of my survival, really. But, I was hesitant to let anyone know how deep the meaning really is for me. So, that said, I want to you know how much your comment really touches me. I really deeply appreciate it!
My two favorite phrases have appeared in comments here, and one of those is from you, “fierce grace.” I love it! Jayson mentioned the words, “peaceful warrior,” which is also very apropos.
Thanks for taking the time to give me your support, Chris. It really means a lot.
~xo
Thanks Lori. Fierce grace, by the way, is the phrase Ram Dass used to describe the stroke he had, and I thought it had some meaning here too.
OK, I see, Chris. Thanks for the follow-up.
Yes, fierce grace is incredibly relevant and I can relate to those words! Thank you, again, for being here today.
Lori:
Thanks for sharing this post…I enjoyed the amusing keywords– especially slicker of frog snot – ha. Thank you, also, for shedding a positive light on MS. It is amazing how, even in our most challenging times, that we can find a silver lining in there somewhere. As I continue to read your blog and get to know you, I’m amazed at your great spirit, attitude and energy that you face your challenges with.
Thank you for your support and let me know if there’s any way I can help you.
Hi Tim,
Thanks for your kind words. Until fairly recently, I don’t think I’d ever have enjoyed or even approved of seeing, “shedding a positive light on MS,” in association with me. I honestly was very angry for a long time.
But, you know, you’re right. I truly believe that there can be something positive gleaned from most situations. It may hurt like hell, or scar your soul in one way or another, but challenges really provide opportunity to dig deeper into this human experience we get to live.
Wouldn’t life be boring if it was easy?
Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. In the short time I’ve gotten to know you and your blog, I’ve been impressed by you. And, some of the stories and videos you posted shone a light into my day which would have been very dark with out them.
So, thank you for that and for being you.
Peace-
~xo
Sometimes I look at keywords that drive traffic to my blog and I often wonder what those people where looking for
Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..10,000 Euros/Month October Update
Yeah, it’s hard to figure that out sometimes, too (what folks are searching for.
Thanks for visiting and I hope you have a great day!
Lori´s last blog ..Jane Makes Me Feel Warm and Loving
The one about your husband says so much about love. You have something many don’t have and never will. I don’t right this to put others down and you up. I just think it’s a fact and needs to be acknowledged. Tell Scott he’s awesome!
Hi Tess,
Thanks so much for commenting to this post. It means a lot to me.
You know, I just went back and re-read that section about Scott and it makes me teary thinking what he’s done for me and given up for me. My first husband left me when I finally received my MS diagnosis (pretty much, in not so many words). It was a difficult thing to accept and have forgiven him for it. But, it took seven years to find peace with the events around my divorce.
Thank you for not only acknowledging Scott, but for your candor about your comment. I thank him every day for being in my life and I refuse to ever take him for granted.
He’s an amazing man.
And, you’re a lovely woman. Thank you, Tess!!
~xo
Wow Lori, you never cease to amaze me! Humor, courage, radical honesty, and inspiration… all in one post! Well, two, really…
I admire your courage and your sharing. I love reading JaneBeNimble and now I love reading it even more.
Thank you for being so honest and for inspiring us with your openness, your humor, and your zest for life.
Cheers,
Miche
Miche – Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..Accepting Suffering and A Call for Compassion
Hey Miche!
I love to see you here and over at your blog, too! You are such a great writer and I really appreciate all the support you’ve shown me, even before you knew about my “little secret.”
Wow, your words here are definitely keepers. How sweet and special is this?!
Thank you for being you. I treasure the times I do have a bit of zest – when it comes, I act, that’s for sure.
Have a great week, Miche!
You ROCK!
It’s sad that often we need bad things to happen to us to get a wake up call. I wish you didn’t have MS but am glad it’s helped you follow some of your dreams and learn more about love, life and happiness. As well as the vagiaries of search engines and the odd things people type into them!
Hi Annabel!
Thanks so much for your comment. I appreciate getting to know you, your take on life, and your wise words.
Having MS has certainly taught me about how to be thankful for the little things, as well as some of the ‘big’ things! It’s also shown me side of this life I’d have never seen if it weren’t for Ms. MS.
Thanks again for visiting, and for taking time to leave me with your thoughts.
Cheers!
~xo