[Photo by Spicules]
As you all know, I started a weekly series here at Jane Be Nimble called Front Porch with a focus on people’s stories to steep myself in the human experience.
I’m excited that one of the coolest chica-bloggers out there has volunteered a gem of a story for you here at Jane Be Nimble. Knowing my three favorite movie stars are Sigourney Weaver (Alien), Linda Hamilton (Terminator), and Angelina Jolie (Wanted)—with this story, Lisis is now getting closer to qualifying for the next member on the list. 
I met Lisis Blackston about a year ago and I’ve been blown away by her sense of humor, honesty, and joye de vivre! She’s a heroine of mine; I even threw her a birthday party recently (visit the link to read many of my favorite posts written by her, which I enjoy to the hilt).
Lisis, thank you for donating part of your life to me here at Jane Be Nimble. I know how hard it is for you to leave your thought children with others (i.e., guest posts), but I promise I’ll hold her and cuddle her and appreciate her! Ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome Lisis to the Front Porch.
Now, I’ll let her describe her kick-butt story in her own words. Take it away, Lisis…
The Coolest Job I NEVER Had
In 1998, I got hired for my dream job. I was fresh out of my MBA in Corporate Finance, with a pilot’s license I didn’t want to use to fly for the airlines (long story), and got hired at Lockheed Martin as a Financial Analyst for the F-22 Program. The best part, for me, was I’d be working at Dobbins Air Force base, watching C-5′s and C-130′s take off and land all day. Heaven.
The interview was a bit unusual because I wasn’t allowed in the building, since I didn’t have a Secret Clearance. So the program director had to meet me out in an unclassified lobby to ask me the standard crap that interviewers ask (why do they ask those irrelevant questions, anyway?). This guy was awesome… married, a couple of young kids, a job he loved, and a great sense of humor. I couldn’t wait to get started.
First step: get a Secret clearance.
I was told this process could take a little while, so they would temporarily place me on the C-130 program, since it doesn’t require any special clearances. I reluctantly headed to the non-classified building to be put to work as a Cost Management and Controls analyst.
I have to say, I had a great time there. The people I worked with were awesome; the environment was 100% aviation; learning about the government contract process was interesting… but I was still mostly in a holding pattern. No one would give me anything to actually be in charge of because my clearance could come through at any moment and I’d be pulled back to F-22.
So, I helped others with their projects. I even walked around to other departments to see if I could assist with any of their short-term tasks. I socialized a good bit… got a small group together for Beer Time every week (one of my more significant accomplishments while I was there). I didn’t mind it really, since I was essentially being paid for having no responsibilities. My office was in the middle of the C-130 assembly line, so I was surrounded by airplanes in different stages of completion. All in all, not a bad gig.
Finally, after TEN months of getting paid to do whatever I could come up with, I finally got the answer! My Secret Clearance was granted!!! But, my F-22 Program access was denied. Apparently, I’m not trustworthy ENOUGH to get on that particular program. I guess being born in Honduras (banana country) and growing up in Costa Rica (the only nation with NO military) is a bit suspect.
I got re-assigned to C-130… permanently.
F22, anyone...anyone?
[Photo by Rennett Stowe]
At one point, I had a little chat with the company prez,…
…and told him how much I love flying, and all that jazz. So, he set me up to fly the F-22 Concept Demonstrator… a privilege usually reserved for big wigs. Here’s what my certificate says:
This Is To Certify That
Lisis Monturiol
Did on 23 November, 1999, Shoot Down Multiple Hostile Fighters in the
F-22 “Raptor” Cockpit Demonstrator
This Extraordinary Display of Airmanship Sets Her Apart as One Who Has Experienced the Awesome Stealth, Supercruise, and Advanced Integrated Avionics that Make the F-22 America’s “Air Dominance” Fighter for the 21st Century.
(It was signed by the VP of the F-22 Program.)
Cool, right?
That’s what I thought, anyway. To this day, that remains my coolest job ever… the one I never really had.
Lori here: Isn’t this cool? Leave us your comments, share one of your kick-butt stories about a cool job you once had! Lay it on us, hero and heroines!
_____________________________________________________________________
More Front Porch Posts:
Front Porch: The Series
Front Porch: Tim’s Story (With Tim Piotrowski)
Front Porch: Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet)
Front Porch: George and the Power of the Human Spirit (With George Angus)
Front Porch: Of Bands, Explosions, and Cattle Auctions—Laughter (With Jay Schryer)
Front Porch: Brave, Bold Tess (With Tess Marshall)
Front Porch: Cardboard Sleds, Machu Piccu, and Sami May (With Sami May)
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Very cool story, indeed! I think it’s probably pretty rare to behired for a job, and never do it, but then to have your particular job be one this cool, well, that’s just amazing! I’m totally jealous. I wish I had never been part of the F-22 program! Oh wait…
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Loving It for What It Is =-.
Haha! Seriously… you’re ALMOST as cool as me because you were ALSO never a part of the F22 program, only you didn’t get paid for your non-participation.
Of course, now it’s really hard to find ANOTHER job with a really cool title, for a really cool company, that offers a substantial paycheck for doing absolutely nothing. Maybe I should target jobs that require Top Secret clearances!
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..Inspiration from Pema Chodron: Everyone and Everything =-.
Hey, that means that I was part of the program, too – not.
All these double negatives are making my head go into a tailspin.
Thanks again for writing this story for JBN! I have to say, I liked my jobs that required Top Secret clearances. I could tell you about them, but then I’d have to…
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LisisMB, John Anyasor. John Anyasor said: RT @Serene_Balance: The Coolest Job I Never Had.. http://www.janebenimble.com/2009/11/front-porch-an-f22-jet-and-a-costa-rican-chica/ [...]
I’ve never had top secret security clearance. My coolest job was working for a TV show where we used to go to concerts, interview the artists before the show, and then film a couple of songs from the concert. I got to meet a lot of famous people like Alanis Morrisette, Cyndi Lauper, Kathy Mattea, and Liz Phair.
What was your coolest job ever?
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Loving It for What It Is =-.
Hi Jay,
That’s groovy you got to interview artists, film them, and then get PAID for it! Wow, very cool!!
I think, other than scooping chicken crap out of the shed and being a PBX operator at a car dealership (jk), my coolest job was helping to arrange and host our Nobel Laureate Lectureships when I was in grad school. Talking to these Nobel Prize winners, you realize were all not that much different from them, you know?
I learned that lesson with the recent Obama prize. I’m JUST like him… no actual achievements, but tons of potential.
[...] me on the Front Porch over at Jane Be Nimble for a totally random story about my coolest job ever. What was your coolest job? Don’t forget [...]
That story is a classic! Don’t worry Lisis, the F-22 program most definitely wouldn’t have had “beer time”.
The closest I’ve come to super, special, secret clearance was a swipe card I had when I worked at Coca-Cola. It gave me access to see the barrels of Part A and Part B of the secret formula mixed together.
The coolest “almost” job I’ve had (apart from the F-22 program), was working at the 2000 Sydney Olympics for Coke. I quit my job just before it came to town.
The coolest job I’ve had was working for a tour company in Banff, Canada as their “Schmoozer” (my actual job title). A requirement of the job was to partake in all the activities we sold so I knew what I was selling. This meant white water rafting, dog sledding, snow mobiling, seeing Grizzly Bears, heli-skiing, ATVing, ice fishing, etc. Just as well cause the pay was shit!
I gotta get me one of those certificates – I totally want to be known as someone who “shot down multiple hostile fighters” in an F-22 Raptor!
.-= Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..Climbing Out of the Depths of Despair – Part 3 =-.
Now THAT is awesome! All of it. I know the Coca-Cola secret card of which you speak. A friend of mine had one of those, and it was one cool status symbol.
We need to combine your “Schmoozer” job with the paycheck from my stealth job (the one nobody ever saw me doing) into one perfect career, don’t you think?
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..The Coolest Job I Never Had =-.
Can I apply for that job (Schmoozer-Stealth-Bad Ass Extraordinaire)?
Haha, love it! That’s a job title to be proud of!
.-= Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..Climbing Out of the Depths of Despair – Part 3 =-.
You are such a badass!! I love this story. LOVE.
(Lori, I also adore this series. I never thought you’d top your kitten but you did! Awesome.)
.-= Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..The Power of a Deadline =-.
Dude. F-22′s totally top kittens any day… even if we aren’t technically allowed to get near them (the F-22′s.. even Costa Ricans can get cleared to be near kittens).
Hey – you can’t talk about Pearl that way. She can’t be topped. Have you ever eaten a mouse (and bones/guts) or protected your family from rattlesnakes purely by hissing?
Hayden – you KNOW I’m coming a knocking on your door soon for a Front Porch session!
Hmmm..coolest job I’ve ever had? My life isn’t nearly as exciting as yours Lisis, pretty boring or better yet, just not as much adventure. I did have a job painting ferry boats off the coast of Maine. It was pretty cool, especially when we could see the seals and the views were gorgeous. Right now I’m an ICU Nurse which is also pretty cool and sometimes adventurous…
I would imagine that doing anything in ICU can get pretty exciting at times. I don’t think I’m tough enough for that kind of adventure!
Now painting ferry boats I could totally do… THAT would be fun. Although I might have to do it off the coast of Mexico, ’cause I’d freeze in Maine!
Hi Charity,
Wow, your job painting ferry boats sounds beautiful! It reminds me of a gym where I used to teach spinning classes (indoor cycling) and we’d take the bikes outside for class, which looked over the Pacific ocean. It was amazing to watch the sunset over the water. Geez, I miss that job!!!
My thanks to you for caring for being in the health care profession. You are an angel!
None of my jobs were that spectacular, however
I got clearance to look into the soul of people who were in prison when I was working on government rehabilitation programs.
That took me flying but in a difference sense.
Cool photos, Lisis, cool story and cool stories in the comments.
.-= Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Ann-Marie on Do-ing Community =-.
Wow… that’s pretty awesome! I don’t know if I’d be brave enough for that job. It reminds me of Clarice, in Silence of the Lambs. Remember her? You must’ve seen some interesting things peering into those souls.
Hi Wilma,
Thanks for sitting on the porch with me and Lisis, and for sharing your story here, too. Wow, that sounds amazing – and definitely not the usual 8-to-5 grind. I find that really interesting!
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Serene_Balance: The Coolest Job I Never Had.. http://www.janebenimble.com/2009/11/front-porch-an-f22-jet-and-a-costa-rican-chica/...
Hi Lisis:
I enjoyed your story…it was nice of the company prez to give you that certificate, yet it would have been nicer if he gave you full clearance. I don’t know if I’ve had too many “cool” jobs. But I do remember watching the production crew shoot a vacuum commercial for the ad agency I was working for (I assure you it is not as interesting as it sounds). I got a chance to talk to the actress that played “Judy, the Time-Life Operator” in the old Time Life music commercials. I grew up watching Judy and believing she was really answering phones. It was so cool to talk to her…she was really cool. I know, I was pretty gullible.
Lori, thanks for sharing Lisis’ story on your front porch, I really enjoyed it. My glass is empty…are there any mojitos left
.-= Tim´s last blog ..Cooking as a Spiritual Experience =-.
That’s an awesome story, Tim. I love how you said you grew up believing she was really answering phones! It’s amazing what a huge impact TV used to have on us. I think we were all gullible back then. Kids today are too smart for their own good… there’s no magic in that!
I’m glad you got to meet her; what a neat moment for you!
Hi Tim, thanks for stopping at the Porch! Lisis is fun. I thought you may enjoy her story.
Oh, and I moments ago I mailed via FedEx more mojitos to you!
OK, not really, but I wish I could bring some in person!
Tim, we have something in common! I loved reading about your TV ad experience! When working for Muscoot farm park in the late ’70s, they shot a Thom McCann commercial there for their “Thom Girls” line of shoes. I was the animal handler for the commercial. LOL, I was “just off camera” in every shot that used the farm animals. What a long, exhausting day, and as close as I’ll ever come to my fifteen minutes … or thirty seconds! … of fame.
.-= Gayze´s last blog ..Knit Wit: Sock Education =-.
Lisis,
You’ve led such an interesting and amazing life. Thanks for sharing it with us.
I like Wilma have had the opportunity to see into the soul of people. As a psychologist I had the opportunity to listen to people bare their souls. To take their deepsest pains, insecurities and hurt and lay them on the table.
One of the first things I noticed that rich or poor underneath we all have the same pain. There is no hierarchy when it comes to pain. Hurt hurts.
The view from my chair was breath taking. It was so easy to see past their stories and into their hearts where their untapped self-love was waiting for them.
To be able to “touch” their broken spirits and help them to heal was a great honor. I’ve lived several life times through them. They took me to places I never new existed and for that I’m grateful.
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Interview Original Faith Author Paul Maurice Martin =-.
Tess, I’ve gotta tell you, that’s the one job I really wish I’d done. I can’t imagine going back to school now, and getting further in debt (I’m still paying for those first degrees!), but I wish I’d studied psychology or psychiatry the first time around.
I believe you and Wilma have had some rare and amazing adventures as others share their souls with you. In my next life, that’s what I’m gonna study.
Hi L’s! Sounds like a cool job you never had! ha! Out of all the multitudes of jobs I’ve had throughout my life, I’m afraid they are all pretty dull by comparison.
The most “fun” one I had was writing a twice-weekly column in a newspaper – it afforded me the opportunity to attend conferences, meetings, and events and meet many interesting and very well-known people. The perk to me, personally, was becoming “immune” to another persons “fame” – not being tongue-tied impressed, and realizing they are, under all the hoopla, just people like the rest of us.
That IS a really cool job, and becoming immune to another person’s status is a great bonus. At the end of the day, as Tess mentioned, we’re all the same. Some have more stuff or more money, some have unique challenges or opportunities, but we’re all just people.
Still, sounds like it probably had some really fun moments!
Thanks for your cool-job story, Suzen!
Sounds pretty fun to me – and I agree with you, Lisis, and Tess, we’re all simply human. What more is there?
Lori,
I love the way this series is developing!
Lisis,
What a completely awesome job (or pseudo-job!!). Reminds me a bit of when I worked for a company that made circuit board and other parts I don’t really remember all that well – for military planes. I interned there for a summer during college, and started fulltime right out of college. Then…military funding took a hit, and so did the company I was with – so it was time to look for greener pastures. A short-lived, but very interesting place to work (and interesting people to work with too!)
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Exposed =-.
I think I know why military funding took a hit… they were probably using it up to pay for non-workers like me!
Awesome post, Lisis, and what a cool almost-job!
I flew a plane once. LOL Yeah, pretty lame not even close, and I was only fourteen. I did fly over a maximum security prison in it, though. Of course, I didn’t know what that funny looking complex was at the time — and was told by the pilot after the fact that he’d always wanted to do that but was afraid he’d be shot down. Ouch.
I’ve had some interesting jobs, including working for a vet, and working at a thoroughbred race horse farm. My coolest was kennel manager at a guide dog training school, though. One time, the Alpo company invited us down to tour their facility. They picked us up in New York City with their company helicopter, and I got to take a copter ride to Allentown, PA. We circled the Statue of Liberty and I have photos her, and of the World Trade Center in its glory day, from that helicopter. I don’t remember a lot about the actual Alpo facility, but that chopper ride was awesome.
.-= Gayze´s last blog ..Knit Wit: Sock Education =-.
That really IS awesome, Gayze! A chopper around NYC, back in the WTC glory days!! That sounds fantastic.
Come to think of it, running the guide dog training school must’ve been pretty great too because you know what you are doing is going to help others in a very real way. That was probaby super rewarding (helicopter rides aside!).
Hi Lisis and Lori,
What a cool almost job. I love the picture too. One of the things I would love to try is to go up in such a plane. I would think that the speed would just be awesome.
And cool on the certificate too. At least, you have proof of the almost job.
As for me, I have had all kinds of gigs. But the coolest was when I worked for US Senator Ted Kennedy. That was awesome. I have worked in many political offices but to work for a legend was amazing. He truly was so powerful in what he could achieve and when I was interviewed, they took me into his corner office and there were all these letters from JFK and RFK on the wall. All these historical figures were his family and to see those momentos was just awesome.
It was amazing to work for someone who really cared about others and it was truly one of the jobs where I really felt I had made a difference. He had the clout and the ability to help those less fortunate and every day I was able to witness that ability to change the world.
.-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Being Creative =-.
That would be cool, Nadia… working for any of the Kennedy’s, really. They are the closest thing we have to royalty in this country. Plus, like you said, Ted Kennedy was such a man of the people that it makes it even better.
I always dreamed of working for (or marrying) JFK, Jr. but it just wasn’t in the cards for me.
top secret clearance.
ooooooooo-la-la
lisis. you are my shero. like hero… but a girl
amazingness.
spin that baby via cape town and we’ll get summen to eat. my treat
Alex, you’re on. First chance I get to come to Cape Town, I’m cashing in on that offer!
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..Adventure? Feeling Trapped in My Lovely Cocoon =-.
[...] Tim Piotrowski) Front Porch – Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet) Front Porch – An F22 Jet and a Costa Rican Chica (With Lisis [...]
Great story!! So cool!
My coolest job was a zookeeper, more precisely a primate keeper. I did that for about 5 years. I got to care for apes and numerous smaller primates.
.-= Jared | SpiritualZen.net´s last blog ..The Guaranteed Way to Never Say Something You’ll Regret! =-.
Hi Jared,
Wow, how cool is that??? I love that you worked with primates – that must be such a memorable career. Every time I see footage of apes or other primates, I get this pang – like, those are my brothers and sisters.
Our DNA is so similar – it’s amazing!
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Jared! You rock!!
~xo
[...] Tim Piotrowski) Front Porch: Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet) Front Porch: An F22 Jet and a Costa Rican Chica (With Lisis Blackston) Front Porch: George and the Power of the Human Spirit (With George Angus) [...]
[...] Tim Piotrowski) Front Porch: Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet) Front Porch: An F22 Jet and a Costa Rican Chica (With Lisis Blackston) Front Porch: George and the Power of the Human Spirit (With George Angus) [...]
[...] Tim Piotrowski) Front Porch: Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet) Front Porch: An F22 Jet and a Costa Rican Chica (With Lisis Blackston) Front Porch: George and the Power of the Human Spirit (With George Angus) [...]