Front Porch: The Series
I am excited and to bring to you this inaugural story in the series: Front Porch. The Front Porch is dedicated to sharing a slice of people’s lives via their stories. The main purpose of Front Porch is to walk in someone else’s shoes for a moment and to allow yourself to be steeped in the human experience. I think you’ll agree every experience exudes beauty and intrigue.
I have the honor of sharing the porch today with my good friend and fellow blogger, Tim Piotrowski, a Chicago native. I’ve known Tim for a fairly short time, but in that time I have easily been able to ascertain he definitely has some great stories.
Tim’s Story
Tim remarked to me that he recently was telling a friend of his about a memory from his childhood, but this wasn’t one of bicycles and soda pop. I asked him to elaborate.
Tim says, “I grew up on the NW side of Chicago about three miles west of Wrigley Field (yet I’m a Sox fan),” and I’m already intrigued. I grew up in the Midwest, too, it is apparent that we are certainly connected in this web of life.
As we chat on our virtual porch, he mentions watching cop shows as a kid. I remember them, too. Then he drops the bomb.
“I’ll never forget the first time I witnessed someone shooting a gun.”
What??!?? Do you mind elaborating?
“Our neighborhood wasn’t bad, but there were gangs in the area. I was playing baseball with some friends of mine, when suddenly a guy started shooting a gun at some people by the field house, which was on the other side of the park. I still remember seeing the gun. From a distance it looked like a big silver cap gun. The people getting shot at ran into the field house and closed the door to protect themselves. I think the shooter was from a nearby high school in the area. Then the cops came and we were all standing around the guy who almost got shot. He said the bullet grazed his leg. I was pretty mesmerized how near death this guy was. Again, I grew up watching my share of violent cop shows so guns figured prominently in my mind. I felt lucky that none of us playing baseball got shot. I think I may have been eight-, nine-, or ten-years old.”
I was transfixed by Tim’s story. I’ve seen violence for sure, and I’ve been exposed to some crazy things, but Tim’s story got me thinking. I’ve fired guns, I’ve seen people shoot guns, but I’ve never known anyone close to me to get shot or even grazed. I personally don’t like guns.
I asked Tim what his parents thought about all this. And I was surprised to hear that he didn’t remember telling his parents about the incident. He may have mentioned the incident, but didn’t remember for sure. Tim was actually raised by his mother and he mentioned her being protective of him. If it were me, I’d be running home to tell Mom and Dad, I think. But, until something like this happens to us, how do we know how we’d react?
Remembering the Feeling Amongst Friends and the Media
“I think my friends were pretty freaked out by the whole thing. It seemed like we were a little far away, but I bet if I went to that park today, it would seem much smaller and feel more dangerous. I was probably freaked out too, but I’m pretty laid back and my way of expressing my “freaked-out-ness” is probably low key. In other words, I wasn’t hysterical. Of course, when the cops came we all surrounded them to hear about what happened. It could have been a street gang thing. I think my neighborhood wasn’t too dangerous, but I did see a fair amount of gang signs around. Nowadays, the city gets rid of graffiti very quickly (thank you Mayor Daley).”
Lastly, I was interested if Tim was affected by seeing gun violence on movies and TV.
“Thankfully, watching gunfire on TV does not remind me of that incident. But I used to have a landlord from Romania and he would fire a gun off for the 4th of July, which made me nervous. In other words, if it is on TV, I don’t feel threatened. But, I don’t feel comfortable about guns or having them around the house for ‘protection.’ Maybe these feelings stem from that incident, I’m not sure. Thankfully, I don’t feel too traumatized by that event. Maybe it just happened so fast that I didn’t have a lot of time to get scared.”
Thirty Years Later
Tim stopped at that park to snap some shots as a favor to me (see below). He remarked that it, in fact, felt pretty weird.
“It has changed a lot. The field house is gone and in its place there are big trees. The other thing I realized is how small that park was, they actually call it a play lot now. The other thing I noticed was the sign that read: No Ball Playing Allowed. Times certainly have changed.”
He wrapped up his story by sharing that the government has increased the severity of punishment of any crimes that take place in parks in the Chicago area.
“I think they really want to go out of their way to create a ‘safe haven’ for kids to play. I think this is a great idea. I don’t know if it will deter anyone, but I’m glad the law is there.”
Tim, thanks for sharing your story with us! You enticed me to probe into my past, to evaluate some of my experiences, and to consider how I have handled similar situations. I think it is great to see Tim was able to move beyond this without feeling traumatized, too.
If you’re reading, please join in the conversation. Have you ever seen a gun being fired for the wrong reasons? How did it affect you? Do you remember discussing guns, gangs, or violence with your parent(s)? Do you have question for Tim about his experience?
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More Front Porch Posts:
Front Porch: The Series
Front Porch: Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet)
Front Porch: An F22 Jet and a Costa Rican Chica (With Lisis Blackston)
Front Porch: George and the Power of the Human Spirit (With George Angus)
Front Porch: Of Bands, Explosions, and Cattle Auctions—Laughter (With Jay Schryer)
Front Porch: Brave, Bold Tess (With Tess Marshall)
Front Porch: Cardboard Sleds, Machu Piccu, and Sami May (With Sami May)
Tim,
I’d like to be the first person to comment to give you a HUGE THANK YOU for your time, for putting up with my questions, for sharing part of your life with me, and for volunteering to take photos of the park.
I have really enjoyed getting to know you and hope to meet you someday soon in person so we can sit on the porch and share a bottle of wine (or coffee, or Kool Aid).
Thank you for this great story and for sharing the Front Porch with me for awhile.
Wow, what a story. I’ve never held a gun, and never seen one fired, ever. There was a point in my life that I couldn’t even watch fireworks… the loud sounds and my reflections on the invention of gunpowder… how its killed so many, in international wars, street violence, etc. It felt strange to me to enjoy fireworks to celebrate independence, when the substance itself is used to destroy life. Sorry to be morbid or depressing… I get very reflective and sensitive like that sometimes! I have, as of late, enjoyed fireworks, but not without keeping in mind the whole thing.
Thanks for sharing this story and making me reflect, too. I’m glad no one got hurt, and that the city has taken steps to ensure safer areas for kids to play (but no ball??? C’mon!!) Glad to peer in on the front porch… I like this new series!
Cheers,
Miche
Miche – Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..3 Keys to Emotional Serenity
Great story, Tim! I really enjoyed reading about this, even if it was kinda scary for you at the time. I was in Chicago for two years, but I never once saw anything violent happen. I saw a drug deal go down once (at least that’s what I think was happening), but it was at the other end of the block, and I scurried on past.
Thanks for sharing this! And Lori, LOVE the new series!
Jay Schryer´s last blog ..It’s A Kind of Magic
Tim, thank you so much for sharing Front Porch time with us. Your story gave me chills … to think how close you and your friends were to such potential tragedy. I’m so glad you were on the other side of the park from the actual shooting, even though that park turned out to be smaller than you remembered it.
I’m … “not fond” … of guns. Yes, that was an understatement.
When I was little, I had a good friend who lived down the end of our street. Behind her house lived a lady in a little cottage, and the lady’s grandchildren used to come visit. We’d all play together, and I became close to the boy who was our age. I’ll just call him S. When we started first grade, S. and I discovered that we were in the same class. He said he was my boyfriend, and that was fine with me. S. and I were “girlfriend and boyfriend”, all of six and seven years old, for first and second grade. In third, we were put in different classes. The romance ended, but we remained friends.
Fast forward to middle school. A friend and I were sitting around my house, listening to music. My friend from down the road came to the door. She was crying, and told us that S. had been shot and killed. His older brother had a friend over, and the parents weren’t home. Their dad thought the boys didn’t know where the keys to the gun locker were, but he was wrong. The brother had taken out one of his father’s hunting guns, was showing it off to his friend, and accidentally shot S. in the chest.
It was my first exposure to firearms. Even though I never came in contact with the weapon, it left a hole in my heart that will always color the way I think of guns.
Wow, sorry to be such a downer … Tim, your story brought back a memory, and as I said … I’m so very glad that you were safe that day.
Gayze´s last blog ..Friday the 13th
Hi Lori and Tim,
I grew up in the midwest, too…although I grew up really out in the sticks. Guns were defintely around, although for hunting animals. Although, I do remember the day a neighbor a couple of miles past our house – one kid shot and killed his brother. For the sleepy midwest town we were in, this just seemed surreal. All the cop cars going by, the fire trucks – something we never saw. Still, though, this was nothing, Tim, compared to how close you were. Wow….
Lance´s last blog ..How to Make a Difference Without a Whole Lot of Money
Lori: Thank you for doing such a great job putting this together and for the idea of the “Front Porch” series…I am looking forward to reading more of these stories in the future.
It was a bit therapeutic to go back there today to take those pictures…it sunk in just how small that playlot really is and how lucky I am. But it happened so fast, I didn’t have time to get scared. And yet as I think about this incident, I think of some not-so-great neighborhoods in this city where there have been people shot by gunfire INSIDE their homes who were minding their own business.
Thank you Miche, Jay, Gayze and Lance for also sharing some of your stories. I think the one thing all of us have in common is that (unfortunately) these incidents can happen anywhere and in many ways we are all lucky to be able to sit here on Lori’s front porch and connect with each other and share these stories. Lori, thanks a again for a brilliant idea and for bringing us together.
Tim´s last blog ..Help Us Help You: A Few Steps To Take Before Doing An Online Job Search At The Library – Guest Post By Josh Hanagarne
Even if you’ve been around guns before and think you are familiar with them, I can tell you that a handgun looks a LOT bigger and more REAL when it is a foot from your face and the twitchy guy in the bandanna and hoodie is saying “gimme the bag, bitch”.
But, a gun is still just a tool and we can’t forget that the real story is ALWAYS the person pointing it – not the gun itself.
Girlfriend (and Tim)… guns, gangs, drive-bys… you name it. My high school took out the lockers because so many kids were bringing weapons, stashing them in the locker, and using them to settle disputes after school (usually about a girl, or a car, or a drug debt).
My sister’s boyfriend was the intended target of a drive-by that accidentally killed his brother instead (they looked alike from a distance). That brother was about to become a dad. Ugh! It was awful.
I am NOT a fan of guns (or the people who point them).
A friend of ours just sent us a picture of his “little girl” (about 6 years old) with a dead deer. He said it was one of his proudest moments because she pulled the trigger.
Makes me want to throw up.
Amazing what memories can be dug up from sharing a story. You may end up with some less than cheerful comments today, but they’ll be interesting nonetheless.
Lisis´s last blog ..Goethe’s Spiritual Side: Not Just Suicide and Soul-Selling
Hi Mishe, Jay, Gazye, Lance, Tim, Chris, and Lisis.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your stories – absolutely every one of them. As Lisis mentioned, I was bracing for the comments to be different than our normal bantering, smiling, and joking around. This is certainly a shift from my normal light-hearted posting style. But, I wanted to share Tim’s story. Tim, again, thank you for allowing me to do so.
I’d also like to share one of my own:
You all know I was in the military by now, I think. Of course, in basic training we shot everything from semi-automatic M16s, grenade launchers, and light anti-tank weapons to claymore mines. I didn’t think much of it because it was a “peacetime military” at the time – or I don’t think I’d have joined. Well, in walks Desert Storm and our unit was deployed to the Middle East. Now, we were all carrying around live ammo on our hips with our M16s. To say it was unsettling is an understatement.
I’ve never held a gun in my hand since and I refuse to do so. This post dug up some deep, dark memories of my own – so when I say I’m with you all on this porch, I truly mean it.
Thank you again, all for sharing part of your lives with me. I think they are all beautiful in their own ways.
~xo
Hi Lori and Tim,
Yay for the debut of the Front Porch Series and yay for Tim being the first dude to share his story!
My parents originally came from a war torn country. When they left, things were peaceful but after a few years, it got really violent again. So in our house, violence was always something that was viewed negatively. Then when I was about 12, one of my uncles died due to the war. He was at an outdoor cafe when a bomb was thrown into the cafe and landed right at my uncle’s table. The story we heard was that he was not killed immediately and was screaming from pain.He died about an hour later. He was in his thirties and had one son.
So as a result of that my parents even became more anti-war and anti-guns. Funny enough, the dude who lives next to my dad is gun lover. He shoots squirrels for dinner. It is so disguting but no one tells the guy anything out of fear.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Hanging Out with Hemingway
Hi Nadia,
Thanks for relaying your excitement about this series. You *know* I’ll be knocking on your door about this! I’d love to chat with you (keep an eye on your email inbox!). ; )
Thanks for sharing your story here, too. I’m really sorry to hear about your uncle. War is just horrible, and it has many faces.
I actually had a friend in MN that shot a squirrel for me to eat. I had never heard of such a thing; I couldn’t believe it when she actually gave it to me. You just reminded me about a story I could tell here, actually.
Thanks for visiting here, Nadia. I appreciate it!
Wow, this has brought up some amazing stories! Thanks for starting the series Lori and thanks Tim for starting the conversation.
I grew up on a farm so we had a couple of guns around but they were very rarely used. When they were, it was generally Dad shooting into the air to scare kangaroos away from a crop.
I’m not a fan of them myself. I’ve had a go at shooting into the air with a shotgun and can remember feeling quite scared. Those things really kick back too. I’d be happy to not see/use one again. Let’s just say nothing gun related made it to my Daisy List!
Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..Kick Arse Question – I Need Your Help
Hi Sami, thanks for visiting here today. It means a lot to me.
We had guns on our farm, too, but they were used to scare coyotes away from our chicken pen (I can relate).
Even though I had to be trained to use guns because of my former “job description”, it never ceased to amaze me how powerful they are and the kick they can produce. I still can’t believe in this day and age they can be acquired legally. They seem too powerful a force and much to prone for accidents to be allowed in metropolitan cities, let alone remote areas. Maybe someday we’ll catch up to Canada.
Great seeing you here today, Sami. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Lori´s last blog ..Front Porch: Not A Typical Day in the Park
Wow – I cannot imagine going through anything like that! I wasn’t raised with guns, and didn’t allow my son to ever have one as a child, not the toy ones, nothing violent! I am so glad to see that new playground! How healing!
Great post!
I’m glad you pointed that out, Suzen, that there’s a cool play ground (lot) there. Thanks for pointing out the healing part of this story. Thanks for joining the conversation!
~xo
In NZ many people have guns for wild life. Heard some shots the other day.
But in the city they should not allowed if I was queen. Why should there be guns in the city?
I do not watch television and I do not live dangerously, so no stories from me about guns I am very happy to report.
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..All conversations are not equal in intimacy.
Hi Wilma,
I’d elect you queen if I could! I think you’d be great.
Where do I sign up?
Thanks for your comment – it’s always great to see you!
Lori´s last blog ..Front Porch: Not A Typical Day in the Park