[Photo Credit: Thomas Shahan (Opo Terser)]
What is depicted in this photo?
Really, think about it. What is this?
Well, I suppose the title of this post gave it away, but these are the eyes of the female Maevia iclemens, and she was photographed on Thomas’ back porch. She’s a jumping spider.
Yeah, I agree with what you just said.
OK, I need to talk about it. I am spooked by spiders—regardless of the species.
I once retrieved green lettuce from our garden, I was maybe ten years old, brought it in, washed it thoroughly (well, as thoroughly as a ten-year old can), and put it on the lunch table. Listening to my dad talk about farm work and how the sun was supposed to heat us up to about 95 degrees that day, I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating. At the end of his sentence, I looked down just in time.
I was about to put a daddy-long legs spider the size of a golf ball, surfing on a lettuce leaf, straight into my mouth. I have no idea how he got there! I screamed bloody murder and threw the whole thing, fork and all, across the kitchen. Mom, Dad, and my three older siblings weren’t amused.
Sometimes, I just hated living on our farm.
We had black-widow spiders hiding out in our potato cellar. I refused to go down there; I had such bad willies about them. Arming me with twenty thousand flashlights wouldn’t have made a difference. I’d rather have faced a summer of being grounded then go down there.
Spiders take the number one spot for creepiness in my book.
However, yesterday I found a spider the size of the tip of my pinkie crawling, get this, across the top of my computer screen. I had inspiration to rescue it and return it outdoors. So, I grabbed a cup and pushed the spider into the cup.
Knowing how I feel about spiders—right now you should already be proud of me. But there’s more. I walked to the door, giving all the love in the world to this little one. I opened the door and inverted the cup onto the landing outside our door.
With all my loving tenderness, wishing it a happy life, I righted my posture, and then…
IT JUMPED AT ME! THE EFFER JUMPED AT ME!
I swore and slammed the door.
I really tried. I tried as hard as I could.
Please forgive me if any of you out there reading are spider lovers. I promise to do my best, but I have to admit it.
I just can’t get myself to like the arachnids.
I found this photo at the top of my post via Flicker’s Creative Commons, and the author/photographer included this photo (below) in his comments, remarking at the eye’s similarity. I thought it was funny, and want to thank the photographer for allowing me to use his photography, too. The photo below makes me think: maybe that’s why I was always so afraid of the Sleestack (from Land of the Lost)?
Arachnid Relative? No, but spooky!
I think I just solved another of my life’s mysteries.
Your turn! Do you have arachnophobia, too? If not, is there anything creepy that you encounter that seems to constantly backfire—when you try to fix the phobia, it just keeps jumping out at you?
P.S. I’m not actually a certified arachnophobe, but spiders do their share of creeping me out!
P.P.S. No arachnids were harmed in the crafting of this post.
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Whoa! That is a pretty wild photo! I suppose I am somewhere in the middle on this. I can’t say I am completely terrified of spiders, yet, if I see a big O’ hairy spider in the sink, tub, on the wall or whatever, I don’t leap for joy either. Know what I mean? And if one did jump at me, well, That just wouldn’t make me very happy.
.-= Keith´s last blog ..Dreaming Or Drifting? =-.
Keith, don’t say the word ‘hairy spider’ in my presence.
I just got the willies again! (ha)
Great to see you again, and my wish for you is a spider-free world of happiness.
~xo
.-= Lori´s last blog ..The Audacity of Arachnids =-.
Great Post.
We have plenty of spiders around our yard and sometimes I try the nice way of moving them outdoors when I find them inside. Admittedly though, I often use the excuses of “it looked like a black widow” and “can’t have it bite the kids” when I turn them into grease spots.
And BTW you’re much more compassionate than I am. If that little Ahol would have jumped at me he would have been become one with the porch.
.-= Chad´s last blog ..A Unique Review of John Mayer’s Battle Studies =-.
Hey Chad, what’s new? Great to see you around – even though this is such a spooky post for me.
I actually laughed out loud (then felt bad) when you said, “…grease spots.” Too funny…
You are one funny dude. And believe me, if it wasn’t for the door separating me from the “Ahol,” it would have definitely become a grease spot one microsecond later!
Have a great day!
I’m not freaked out by spiders. I actually think that particular spider looks beautiful in the photo.
I am more freaked out by snakes. I’m from NZ where we have no snakes whatsoever, so it may seem weird, but I really can’t stand them.
.-= Gordie Rogers´s last blog ..Meet The World’s Fattest Lifestyle Designer. =-.
You’re right, the spiders are quite beautiful – but I don’t want ‘em near me!
For some reason, I’m more tolerant of snakes. I have no idea why. I read recently that NZ has no snakes and I was shocked; I had no idea! Plus, the book also said there’s really no poisonous anything (spiders included). I really want to move to NZ. Seriously…
Hey, Lori! THIS is an awesome post. You know why? ‘Cause I haven’t read another post about spiders in… well, never! I get so tired of reading the same basic post over and over at several different blogs. But THIS? Ahh… refreshing… in a spooky, creepy, yucky way.
I, like you, can’t stand spiders. I know they are mostly harmless, and they are a vital part of the eco-system, and they eat mosquitoes (which I also hate), and they are friendly to pigs named Wilbur, etc. BUT, they are just one example of when long, slender legs are just NOT sexy.
Having said that, the picture at the top reminds me of some of the characters from Monsters, Inc. I was thinking that, if it had been drawn, it probably would’ve looked really sweet and cuddly… like the guy that had a sock stuck to his back (remember him?… George… 23-19!)
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..The Tripod of Balance: Health, Wealth, and Relationships =-.
I struggle all the time with how beautiful and necessary spiders are to our planet, but dudette, I just get the willies around them! I mean, even how they move; what’s up with the legs – creepy!
That’s funny, Monsters, Inc. Lisis, you have an incredibly creative mind. Only YOU would have said that!
My husband, Scott, actually thought it was a, “hairy fashion ring or jewels of some sort.” That’s my baby!
Oh, I TOTALLY understand how you feel! Especially when I learned that Buddhist monks feel that every life is sacred which basically makes me an unapologetic mass murderer.
.-= Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..Marriage on The Brink =-.
I TOTALLY AGREE, HAYDEN! I’m all into the ‘bugs, spiders, and ladybugs are all life’ thing, and maybe one of them is actually my great-grandmother incarnate (?) so I just can’t bring myself to kill anything.
However, as soon as one of the buggers jump at me, all bets are off! They started it – it’s self defense!
I think it is perfectly natural for people to be creeped out by spiders. It’s healthy to have a certain level of fear for a number of things, I would put spiders up there with ledges and the sound of screeching tires.
.-= Casey Brazeal (North and Clark)´s last blog ..December 3rd Dinner Concert =-.
Thank you, Casey, thank you for your acknowledgment! My husband, Scott, always teases me about it – he actually likes spiders and has taught me how to gather them up and place them outside. Ugh, the horror!!
I’m with you, screeching tires and ledges freak me out, too. I’ll never know how I survived being in the Army. (ha)
Hi Lori!
Oh yuck! I really really tried to just look at that spiders eyes and picture the nice gem stone ring without the hair. I’m not a fan of spiders either and should God turn out to be a Divine One, I am screwed. I have killed more than rescued.
Hey SuZen! Yeah, I know, their eyes are just beauties, I just can’t get past the hair, either. (ha!)
Oh geez, girl, you’re cracking me up! I’m still trying to get on the positive side of the death tally. I’m getting better with time, but it hasn’t come without a wheelbarrow of swear words and a fair amount of goose flesh.
No arachnids were harmed in the making of this post but a certain human evidentally was (mentally anyway)!
I was so thinking, “How cool, Lori is facing her fear” until I read the “effer jumping at you” part! That was effing funny as hell girl!!
I’m personally OK with spiders (lucky, seeing as I live in the land of a million Arachnids) but not keen on snakes. I once stood on one while wearing thongs (of the flip flop variety not the dental floss between butt cheeks variety). The effer scared the eff out of me!
PS. You had me at Arachnids!
.-= Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..A Glam Rock Lesson on Memorable Moments =-.
Hey Sami!
You are a damn funny girl – I love it when I see your smiling face here.
I thought you may like the infusion of near-swear words. You’re my muse in that regard (jk). And I realized, too, that it was you that inspired me with my P.P.S.!! I have no original thoughts anymore re: “No lemmings were harmed…” a la LL&L (your blog).
So, thanks for being my muse for pretty much this whole post. The greatest compliment is imitation, right?
You rock, girl, thanks for making me laugh today. I really needed it (!) but maybe not the floss.
Spiders? How about Spiderman? Does he have the same effect on you?
My mother was phobic as was my ex wife (still are I think) so I associate spiders with screaming women. I confess I find screaming women (or men) more of a problem than the arachnids themselves. I’d never pick up a screaming woman .. or a spider for that matter. Some of those critters can kill people can’t they?
Ian, I think I just had a break-through moment. That’s it!!! Spiderman! I love Spiderman! Maybe that’s the key – humanize them, make them lovely little spandex-wearing heros!
And, point taken. Screaming never helps anything – except to maybe relieve some stress. Yes, spiders can certainly dust us off for good, that’s why I never touch them. I scooted this critter into the cup with a pencil.
Black widows can definitely kill, so none of us kids ever went into the cellar, actually, Dad always went in with helmet on.
Wow, Lori your post really hit me in a lot of ways and had me laughing. First off, I HATE spiders. They really creep me out. As a matter of fact, I’d rather have those thousand leggers (or centipedes) crawling around eating the spiders…so I leave the centipedes alone.
I remember sitting in my apartment in college in beautiful DeKalb, IL. My roommates went home for the weekend and I was there alone as I watched “Arachnophobia” on cable TV. Our ground-floor apt was filled with spiders and it really creeped me out. I also have had a spider get into my car and start lowering itself from the driver’s side visor while I was driving on the expressway in the evening. I am so lucky I didn’t get into an accident because I was freakin’ out as I was trying to swat that thing away.
Oh, and I’m with you about the sleestaks from Land of the Lost. I LOVED that show as a kid and had plenty of nightmares about sleestaks. Great reference from the past.
BTW, despite my dislike of spiders, that photo at the beginning of your post is actually pretty cool looking. Thanks again for an awesome post. I hope you don’t have any more “visitors.”
.-= Tim´s last blog ..Crushing It in Chicago With Gary Vaynerchuk =-.
Tim,
This is why I wanted you on my Front Porch, you have some GREAT STORIES! Feel free to lay them here; they’re great!
I thank my lucky stars a spider never tried to invade my pickup truck while I was driving – I think *I’d* have ended up the oil slick!
It’s funny, I was actually thinking of you when I uploaded the Sleestack pic, for some reason, I thought you’d get a kick out of it. I’m glad it didn’t disappoint!
You should check out the photographer’s Flickr site I linked – it’s really rad! It’s worth the look for sure. That photo at the top made a two-page spread in some big-time photography magazine, actually.
Thanks, Tim!
Though I don’t dislike spiders, they do kinda creep me out, especially when they seem to be rushing at me with intent. And they do, I swear they do. Thus, I usually get the hubby to move the arachnoids outside for me. As much as I respect them, I’d rather do so from a distance.
Unless, that is, I have a camera in my hand. I’ve gotten some great shots of spiders over the years and have no fear of getting the lens right into their little multi-eyed faces.
That photo, by the way, is outstanding!
.-= Gayze´s last blog ..Challenge Game #4: Picture This =-.
Hi Gayze,
I respect them from a distance, too. But there’s the key – from a distance!
Yes, the photo is great! Check out his Flickr link, he’s quite a character and seems like a really fun guy. It’s also great to see that posting his photo, free for everyone, really brought him some great success.
I love stories like that!
Hey Lori!
It’s awesome you lived on a farm, even though you didn’t like that much…lol
And are you kidding me?? You are scared of spiders?! I LOVE SPIDERS!! Wow I remember I used to play with them so much when I was a kid.
Although I was a bit cruel while playing with them…and I do feel a bit guilty now xD.
I used to capture some daddy-long-legs and then…rip the legs out until it is just one ball of a little body left. Now that I think about it…that is kind of gross :O.
I love playing with bugs when I was little, but that’s because they made me feel so powerfulll!!! >:D I’ve done some really bad things when I was a kid…I put a bunch of ants in a water bottle, and I ate a ladybug. Don’t ask me why I was like that, I’m weird who knows…
Anyways, I hope your fear of spider ends, because they are so damn cool looking!
Steven
.-= Steven´s last blog ..Want Motivation? – Then Scare Yourself S***less =-.
Hey Steven,
So fun to see your excitement for spiders and bugs. You’re such a DUDE!! xD
Is that a little boy thing, ripping off the legs? I think my brothers use to do that too, eeeewwwwwhhh! Blegh.
How did the ladybug taste, like chicken?
You are too funny, Steven. Thanks for visiting!
Hey Lori,
This is great! Very funny stuff! Spiders don’t bother me at all, but like some others have commented, snakes do. I’ve worked long and hard to overcome my fear of snakes, from handling them, feeding them, and lots of looking at them in their cages, but I still have a little “uneasiness” when I’m near them.
My dad, however, is terrified of spiders. This is insanely funny to me, because the man is scared of absolutely nothing else on the planet. Nothing bothers him, Nothing…except spiders. I’ve seen him kill snakes bare-handed, I’ve seen him deal with all kinds of critters, and never flinch. But I’ve also seen him back out of the shed and refuse to come back until I had killed a little brown spider.
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Loving It for What It Is =-.
HI Jay!
Welcome back! I’m constantly intrigued about what people consider their “ultimate fear”. How did this all start, anyway? Well, I have some ideas…
Interesting about the difference between you and your dad. Hey, if anything, you made me feel better. If your fearless dad is afraid of spiders, too, I can’t be all bad.
Good luck avoiding the snakes, and I’ll be seeing you around (and watching out for those pesky 8-leggers)! Thanks for your thoughts, Jay!
~xo
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