Front Porch: It Should Have Been Fine

A Porch in San Francisco

When was the last time you had a pen pal?

As a kid, I exchanged letters with some pen pals—visiting the mailbox everyday was an adventure. What surprise and delight surfaced when I recently received a snail-mail letter from a long-time friend.

We’ve been exchanging snail mail messages—exchanging our stories.

If you follow this blog, you know I host the Front Porch, a series about everyday stories, just stories that friends talk about on front porches, back yards, or in break rooms in snippets during the day.

I asked my pen pal if she’d mind me relaying this story to you here. She graciously agreed. (Thanks, lovely.)

Please join me on the Front Porch with my pen pal on a day that was far from typical for her. (Images are literally taken from her pen-pal letter to me, although I had to attempt to redraw since the blue construction paper she used to write her letter didn’t scan well.)

Enjoy!

Hello there, Pen Pal!

Here’s another story for you.

I used to have a little red car that I would drive to work in Menlo Park everyday from San Francisco. It looked like a bubble.

Bubble Car

Because my commute was so long I never ate breakfast—I just left the house at 6 AM and tried to get to work as soon as possible. But, this particular morning I was in a good mood having slept until 8 AM. I took my time getting ready and was on my way to the freeway when I saw this cute coffee shop and decided to treat myself to a latte.

A Good Day

There wasn’t anywhere to park, though, so I just parked in the crosswalk area—my car was tiny so it was fine.

Well, it should have been fine.

[Lori's remark: I'm thinking, what the heck are you doing, woman? I can't believe you parked your car in a crosswalk in SF. Are you nuts???]

So, this intersection was also a bus line and the buses had to make a right turn and all the buses were making the turn OK, so I went inside and ordered a coffee and decided to get a bagel, too.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I had been having problems with the ignition. It had been recalled for getting stuck but I was pretty good at jiggling it just right to get the key to turn.

As I am waiting for my bagel some guy says to me, “Hey, is that your car? You need to move it.”

When I looked outside, one of the buses didn’t make the turn tight enough so she was stuck because my car was in the way but she couldn’t back up because the cars behind her pulled up too close.

It was rush hour.

No one could pass and it was really the only way out of the neighborhood due to the one-way streets.

Predicament

So, I run out of the coffee shop and jump in my car. As I hear people yelling at me for parking there  like, “…some kind of idiot.”

And, of course, I can not start the car—the ignition won’t turn. It’s kind of like when the steering wheel is locked and you have to turn the wheel and key at the same time, but this was just a faulty ignition.

After about five minutes of me trying to remain calm and jiggling away I look up the streets and count nine buses that are filled with people on their way to work and I feel awful.

After ten minutes people are getting off the buses and walking towards me in my car to see what’s happening and there are TONS of people around my car yelling at me about how I ruined their day and to get the hell out of the way.

A group of people form and decide to push my car out of the way—but it is in “park” and I can’t take it out of “park” without turning the key. They try to push it anyway and my car is just rocking back and forth with me in it yelling, “I don’t think that’s helping!”

Then, they decide if there is enough of them they can pick up my car and move it. (What???)

So, all these people in their work clothes are gathered around my car trying to lift it.

It didn’t work.

I give up because the police showed up on motorcycles and they took turns trying to start my car. In the mean time, I call a tow truck but there is no way for it to get to us because by now I have caused a major traffic incident that was spreading through the city and already on the news.

The policemen are drinking coffee while this elderly man lectures me, “Who do you think you are to just park whenever and wherever you feel like it?”

I just kept saying sorry, and feeling like George Costanza more than ever.

And then, the car starts. I look at the policemen and rrrttt! I was outta there.

They never wrote me a ticket or anything—and I never got my coffee and bagel.

So much for my lighthearted morning, huh? Hope you laughed a little.

[Lori's remark: Laugh? I don't think that's the most descriptive term my reaction. How about laughing so hard I'm spewing coffee out my nose? Yup, your stories will do that to me.]

Time to climb onto the Front Porch and join the fun. Have you every caused a traffic jam or been in a really rough bind? How did you get out of it?

[Photo courtesy brad.coy]
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Previous Front Porch Posts:
Front Porch: The Series
Front Porch: Not A Typical Day In The Park (With Tim Piotrowski)
Front Porch: Pearl’s Wisdom (A conversation with Lori’s first pet)
Front Porch: An F22 Jet and a Costa Rican Chica (With Lisis Blackston)
Front Porch: George and the Power of the Human Spirit (With George Angus)
Front Porch: Of Bands, Explosions, and Cattle Auctions—Laughter (With Jay Schryer)
Front Porch: Brave, Bold Tess (With Tess Marshall)
Front Porch: Cardboard Sleds, Machu Picchu, and Sami May
Front Porch: Only in Lance World (with Lance Ekum)
Front Porch: Life Though Mia’s Eyes with (Mia Platt)
Front Porch: My Sensory Deprivation Experiment

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