Greetings,

I have a love affair with all things cosmological.

In fact, just last night I watched (again) another video episode of Cosmos—a thirteen-part TV series broadcast by PBS in 1980, hosted by my hero Carl Sagan. Yum. Much of my poetry plays with concepts involving the heavens and heavenly bodies. What could be a better muse? In today’s poem, I play with personifications of the sun and moon.

Enjoy!

I hope you enjoyed my contribution for One Shot Poetry Wednesday, hosted by the awesome people behind One Stop Poetry, an online meeting place for creatives like poets and photographers. Rock on, master poets!

For a cornucopia of beautiful poetry, please make a stop to One Shot Wednesday and tell Pete I say hello.

I invite you to share your thoughts or try your hand at writing a poem in the comments. Expressing yourself is good for you.

[Fine Print: I offer to you free use of the designs at my site. Please use as you see fit. Link back to my site if you feel so moved, however, my policy is to create for all with no expectation. All images are either solely created by me or used within terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License when noted.]

I would be gratefully humbled if you chose to subscribe to receive updates from my blog. You can have new posts emailed to your inbox or receive updates via RSS. (The subscription has no costs associated, and I gave up SPAM when I became a vegetarian, so no worries about receiving that in your inbox.)
~Namaste, friends. _/|\_

Sara has enough heart to fill an Olympic-size swimming pool.

Well, that, and maybe the entire universe.

Twice.

My step-daughters gave me the glass-blown heart you see in the image above and I’m quite enamored by it. I love to feel the weight of it in the palm of my hands, I love to sense the smooth texture with my fingertips, and I love to play with the colors and refractions in the light of morning sunrise. It reminds me of the girls and the love I have for them.

Warm fuzzies.

This glass-blown heart also reminds me of Sara: she’s filled with incredible light, free movement of thought (represented by the swirls inside the heart), and an abundant creative force as demonstrated by the reflective ability of the glass dependent on where it’s placed in the sunlight.

As a blogger, I’ve been enjoying answering the creative challenges offered at her blog as well as her prose and general topics of discussion, and I thank her for her work as a writer and blogger. I need to keep challenging my mind as Ms. MS continues to try to grab more than her fair share, so in a sense, Sara is helping me to heal, too. (Thank you, Sara.)

As Sara mentioned in her most recent post, she’s away momentarily due to a minor procedure for her eye, so her comments are closed for the moment. But I invite you to stop by her site and when she’s back visit to say hello.

While you’re there, please take a look at her contribution for the Butterfly Project and learn more about the project being sponsored by the Holocaust Museum in Houston, TX. The project was launched to remember the 1,500,000 innocent children who perished as a result of the Holocaust.

Sara also has an uncanny ability to see striking images in the “average.”

In fact, even though I didn’t participate in this particular challenge, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the photo in this photo frame, which actually came as a “placeholder” photo in the frame she purchased. (Amazing!) I still wonder what that woman in the frame must have been thinking.

Or, check out this post featuring faces amongst knots in wood. Coolio.

I snatched Sara’s quote, which I used for the above graphic, from her site today and provided myself with some art therapy tonight to bring her words to life in concert with a favorite “thingy” of mine. It’s my way of constructing a virtual hug with a friend.

Wow do I love Sara’s quote!

Lovely.

Sara, I hope you enjoy what I created from your words, and thanks again for the healing energy and inspiration for my art therapy tonight. Feel better; we’re wishing you a speedy recovery. Take good care of yourself. Know I’m sending healing energy to you often.

To you, the person reading my words today, wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug from me. They’re free and who couldn’t use a hug right now? Right?

If you feel up to it, please help me glow about Sara in the comments (Sara, don’t feel like you have to interact while you’re recovering. Believe me, I get it!). On a different note, want to tell me about a “thingy” that seems inert but brings to you value and warmth of heart?

Want to continue reading?
∞ Read my all-time favorite post about LOVE, now with over 100 comments, or read the follow up post, Part Deux.

Also, I would be gratefully humbled if you chose to subscribe to receive updates from my blog. You can have new posts emailed to your inbox or receive updates via RSS. (The subscription has no costs associated, and I gave up SPAM when I became a vegetarian, so no worries about receiving that in your inbox.)
~Namaste, friends. _/|\_

As I mentioned I would in my latest post, I did, indeed, choose a winner at random on Sunday to receive a crisp new copy of Rebel Buddha from yours truly.

I apologize for my delay in sharing the results. Feel free to send Ms. MS a letter expressing your grievances regarding me not adhering to the expressed rules of the contest. In fact, I’ll give you a direct line to her Customer Service department if you Contact Me. However, I think a significant backlog exists, so don’t get your undies in a bundle if she doesn’t respond in a timely manner. (I apologize on her behalf.)

*wink*

Thank you from my heart to everyone who comments to my posts and to those who expressed interest in receiving Dzochen Ponlop’s words. I appreciate you very much. You bring much light to my life.

Without further ado, the recipient, chosen by an online random-number generator, is Patty, author of the blog: If Not Now, When? (Patty, you have an email from me in your inbox regarding next steps.)

Speaking of Patty, I want to tell you that if you’re not following her blog, you’re missing out on reading excellent prose, amazing insights, and some of the most creative ideas I’ve seen in quite some time. Plus, she’s a downright all-around groovy chick.

In addition to being a blogger, Patty, is also a counseling professional and coach. And get ready for this gem, she soon will be hosting a very cool thing: Living Life’s Second Half: SUNDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES, starting February 27th. Check it out and please consider joining the (virtual) group.

Thank you, Patty, for your beautiful words and your bright presence in all our lives. You are loved.

As an extended post script, I’d also like to mention that over my past ~eighteen months of blogging, I’ve become enamored by the name, “Jane.” When I created this domain and blog name, I wanted something catchy and something with spunk. Also, to me, “Jane” inspires thoughts of Jane Goodall, one of my heroines. And to be honest, I feel bad when people mistake me for being “Jane” due to my blog’s name. So, I am taking on the name Jane here and in general online, too.

Honestly, I don’t mind if you call me Lori, I don’t mind if you call me Jane, (you can even call me James or Jimbo) just don’t stop talking to me, okay?

I’m off for the remainder of the day for a delightful afternoon (i.e., checkup) with my neurologist. She’s a wonderful physician and I am filled with gratitude for those who care for others as a way of life. To devote one’s life to caring for others, what more is there?

I hope to be back soon to read and interact with you at your blogs and also to provide another dose of mental nutrition for you, the lovely people who read this blog and who give me so much hope and inspiration. Create a beautiful day, and give thanks for your body electric. It is beautiful (even when it is not working on all cylinders).

To bid you farewell, I want to share with you a performance by one of my favorite musicians, Andy McKee. Enjoy (click here if you are having trouble viewing).

♦ Want to read more about caring for your body electric? Read my Your Body is a Fortress series.

Also, I would be gratefully humbled if you chose to subscribe to receive updates from my blog. You can have new posts emailed to your inbox or receive updates via RSS.
~Namaste, friends. _/|\_

{Reading time, approx. 6–7 min.}

For the holidays this year, I treated myself by hiring the infamous Jay Shryer (a.k.a., The Supreme God of Words) to write a Custom Story for me.

A small but related detail: okay, I’ll admit it, I spent at least 75% of my childhood pretending I was a superhero, most often Wonder Woman or Isis.

Instead of telling you what a thrill this was for me (ahem, it was), with his permission hereby granted, I would like to share the story with you for this wintry weekend. It’s about 2,000 words—every word counts. Believe me.

While I am well aware that this may mean much more to me than to you on the other side of the screen, I invite you to partake of one of my favorite gems from the holidays. Please consider hiring Jay to write a story for you, or even gift a story for a loved one.

Heck, it’s just FUN! I think we all could use a little extra fun, yes?

Without further ado: here’s the story!

[Image courtesy Katie Tegtmeyer via Creative Commons license]

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

An Angel is Born

by Jay Schryer

Lori stared at the package in front of her, hardly able to believe it was actually there, and not just a figment of her imagination. The return label clearly stated that it was from her friend, Dr. Lattimore, over at PDX Pharmaceuticals. Even though she knew better than to get her hopes up, she couldn’t resist the temptation.

What if it works, she thought. No, don’t think about that. Focus. Go back into your head space. This is a scientific experiment, not some lollipop fantasy. You are a scientist, dammit! Now start acting like one.

Still, she couldn’t keep her heart from beating a little faster as she slowly opened the box. Inside the box was a piece of paper, and underneath that, was a styrofoam container.

She looked at the paper. Dr. Lattimore’s hurried scrawl was hard to read, but she had grown used to it during the time they had worked together.

Lori,

Here are the cocktails you ordered. I have to tell you that I’m not happy about this, and if you were anyone else, I would refuse. There are some extremely dangerous mixers in here. Some of these things shouldn’t even be kept in the same building, much less packaged together. Any accidental contamination of any of these samples could prove highly toxic. Again, I wouldn’t do this for anyone else, but I know you know what you’re doing. At least I hope you do.

Lori read through the note twice, and smiled warmly. Drew Lattimore had been one of her very best friends when she worked at PDX. Although he had been (technically speaking) her supervisor, they had enjoyed a close working relationship. Her expertise was in the actual performing of the experiments, and his was in assessing the data and its implications. He had allowed her to work, and she had allowed him to write up the findings (and therefore get most of the credit). It was a win-win situation that had benefited both of them.

Now, it benefits me more than him, she thought. Thank you for this, Drew. You’re an angel. An angel in a shark’s suit, sure, but an angel nonetheless.

She put the letter down, and carefully removed the styrofoam box from the cardboard that surrounded it. She ran her thumbnail around the tape that kept the two halves of the box together, separating them. Then, ever so gently, she lifted the top half away from the bottom.

Inside, six vials of liquid were packed tightly in their separate spaces. Lori picked one up carefully, and examined it. The liquid inside was a dark blue, thick and viscous. She put it back into its slot, and chose another. This one was a bright green, and very thin. A biohazard sticker on the side made her wince. “Jesus, Drew. What the hell did you send me?”

She already knew the answer, of course. After all, she had been specific in her request. Still, she couldn’t believe he actually listened to her. She had expected him to refuse most of the things she had asked for, and so she was pleasantly surprised to find her “order” complete.

“Ms. MS, your days are numbered. Prepare to die, bitch.” Giving her disease a name and personality of its own had been one of the most liberating decisions she had ever made. By looking at it as something apart from her, an invader in her body, she was able to handle some of the psychological difficulties that came with having MS. It made it easier for her to face it when she could treat it as an enemy.

She was on her way to the kitchen to place the box in the fridge when the earthquake struck. Lori pitched forward into blackness.

Sometime later, she stood up. Dazed and confused..but only because she suddenly realized that she wasn’t dazed or confused. For the first time in a long, long time, her mind was crystal clear. It was only then that she looked at herself. She was glowing. Her whole body was glowing with a golden, radiant light. In fact, she seemed to be made entirely of light; she was translucent, a radiant being of energy.

Then she looked down, and she saw her body lying at her feet.

“Oh shit. I’ve killed myself!” she said, half in shock and half in sorrow. She knelt by her body, and she could see the half-dozen broken test tubes impaled in her chest. The top must have come off as I was falling, and I fell on top of them…

She ran her spirit fingers through her physical hair, and wept. As the tears fell, they were absorbed into her physical body, and the holes made by the test tubes closed just a little bit. When she noticed, Lori pulled the broken pieces from her body’s chest, and the holes closed up. She barely had time to wonder what was happening before she felt herself being pulled down, pulled into her physical body…

Lori gasped, coughed, and sat up. Her head hurt like hell, and she moaned in pain. She looked down at her chest, and gasped when she saw the holes in her shirt. She pulled it up, and looked at the fresh, clean, unbroken skin.

That was…weird, she thought as she half walked and half stumbled back to the living room. Too exhausted to do anything else, she fell asleep on the couch.

Walking along a white sandy beach, she marveled at the beautiful blue ocean spreading out beside her. The view was perfect. The breeze was perfect. The water lapping at her feet was the perfect temperature. “Crap, now I really am dead,” she said out loud.

“No, you’re not.”

Lori was startled by the sudden female presence beside her. “I’m not? Are you…Jay’s Goddess?”

“Haha! Jay is insane. You of all people should know that by now! No, no, don’t look hurt. I’m only joking. I love Jay just as much as you do. More, even.”

“So you ARE the Goddess! But wait. If you’re the Goddess, then I must be dead…”

“Nope. Not even close. Contrary to popular belief, a person doesn’t have to be dead for me to make an appearance. You’re safe and sound, asleep on the couch. In order to appear to someone, I just need their heart to be unguarded and their mind open. Usually, people only meet those requirements when they are almost dead…or dreaming deeply.”

“So this is a dream?”

“Something like that. Close enough, anyway. We don’t really have time to get into it right now. You’ll wake up before I even get close to explaining it all, and this is a one-shot deal. The next time we meet like this, you really will be dead, so let me get straight to it, ok?”

“OK…”

“So here’s the deal. You didn’t die, but somehow, you separated your spirit from your physical body. Normally, when something like this happens, we can fix it pretty quickly. We just re-attach it, and send the person on their merry way. That’s what happened with Jay. But you…for some reason, yours won’t attach.”

“So what does that mean, exactly?”

“Well, it means that you can leave your body pretty much whenever you want to, and travel the physical world in spirit form.”

“Like a ghost?”

“Sorta. More like an angel. You’ll appear as yourself, except you’ll be translucent, and glowing golden like the sun. And you’ll have these awesome wings sprouting from your shoulders. You didn’t notice them before, but they were there. When you wish it, you can also turn invisible.

“Cool! What else?”

“You’ll be able to read people’s emotions, and you’ll be able to influence them a little bit. Make people calmer, more peaceful, more loving. When you are near, people will feel loved and secure, even if they can’t see you. Your tears will heal all wounds, and your touch will heal disease…sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?”

“Yes, only sometimes. There will be times when it won’t work. Sometimes, people have lessons to learn, and their disease is a part of the lesson. Such is the case with Jay. He wanted to incorporate with a disability, so that he could experience what that kind of life is like. So, no healing for him.”

“That sucks. I was really hoping…”

“I know you were, honey. That’s why I told you. Don’t worry, he’ll understand once he dies…again.

“More powers that you’ll have: You’ll be able to create simple things out of solid Light. Things like a sword, which you will need, by the way. You’ll also create your armor out of Light, and a bow and arrows, too. Sounds medieval, I know, but there’s a purpose. Other things you might create are a rope, or a stick, should you find something like that to be useful. Just small, simple objects like that.”

“Why the weapons and armor?”

“Because your world just got a lot safer in one respect, but a lot more deadly in another. Lori, you are now a Servant of the Light. Humans can no longer harm you, and modern weapons are ineffective against you. However, there are also Servants of the Dark…you might call them demons…and they can, and will try to kill you. To do that, they must be very close to you…all your fighting will be done with swords and other melee weapons, or hand-to-hand combat.”

“Whoa. Seriously?”

“Yes. Seriously. If they kill you, you’ll die for real. You’ll get sent to heaven, and you won’t be able to come back. It might not sound like that big of a deal, but it really will be. You’re gonna love this new life!”

“Hell yeah I am! I can’t wait to get started!”

“One more thing, Lori, and this is very serious. While you are in “Angel” mode, your physical body will be dead. No brain waves, no heartbeat…nothing. And if you stay gone too long, it will start to decay. Don’t let that happen. Check back in frequently, and only stay in Angel mode as long as you have to.

“When you want to go back to your body, just will it, and you’ll snap back instantly. This is important to remember, because your physical body will be your sanctuary.”

“Sanctuary? How so?”

“The demons can’t harm you while you are in your body. The Servants of the Dark are absolutely forbidden from harming humans physically. Just as you can create positive emotions, they can create negative ones…fear, anger, depression…these are the tools of the Darkness. They will use those tools to try and make you hurt yourself, just as they do with all humans, but they can’t physically harm you. Of course, you’ll still be susceptible to human damage, but at least you’ll protected against the Darkness.”

“This. Is. So. Freakin awesome!!! When do I start?”

“Right now. Michael will be by tomorrow to start teaching you how to fight with the sword. Until he gets there, stay human. The Servants already know about you, and they’ll want to take you out before you can learn anything. But you’ll be safe with Michael. No demon is stupid enough to attack him. He *is* the archangel of battle, after all.” The Goddess grinned, and Lori couldn’t help but grin back.

“So what do I do? I mean, what’s my purpose?”

“Hahahahaha…ahhh the universal question! Oh, Lori. I love you. You delight me! Doesn’t everyone always want to know what their purpose is? Ok, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Your purpose is….to be yourself. Love the humans. Fight the Darkness. Do what you have always done…only now, use your new abilities. Just be yourself. That’s your purpose…that’s everyone’s purpose. Just be you…and be the best you you can be. Just like in your army days…be all that you can be!”

Lori looked at the Goddess quizzically, and then in a flash of light, everything was gone. Lori awoke on her couch. She sat up just in time to hear a knock at the door. She felt such a rush of love and peace that she knew it was Michael before she even opened the door.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

♦ Interested in stories? Please take a moment to partake of a Front Porch story from the archives.

♦ Meet Jay Schryer on the Front Porch, for fun and laughter!

Please comment, tell me what you think of the story, ask a question, or just to say hello. (If you’re not aware, I have a strong policy where a single smiley face is absolutely priceless. Brevity!) [To make a smiley in the comments, just type a colon followed by a close parenthesis, no space in between. To make it really smiley, use a capital letter D in place of the parenthesis.]

Please consider sharing this post with your friends, too.

Like this post at Jane Be Nimble? More are on the way! Get them emailed to your inbox or via RSS. I promise not to spam you or to sell your information. Ever.

I’m taking a new twist with my post today—please bear with me.

Things have been pretty kooky in my world lately, and I don’t want to get too deep into discussion about life, but Ms. MS and I have been having some serious talks. (I found out she really loves earl gray tea—who could have guessed?!) On that note, I thought it might be time to mix things up for today.

I’ve been thinking about my life thus far, like a film reel that continues to roll along, but with flashes and it’s out of sequence. So, I thought I’d do some free-association writing today taking you on an oblique walk down my memory lane.

In doing this in a public way, I’m using myself as an example for something fun that you might want to try. Free writing, about anything, can be a trip! This technique can even can spark some ideas for you around future writing projects. If anything, it will certainly get your pen moving, often all that is needed if you feel stuck.

It’s this simple: choose a topic, open your mind, grab a pen, use short phrases—don’t worry about them making sense, and put yourself on autopilot. Remember, try not to censor yourself.*

*Okay, honestly, I had to cut some things out of this list prior to publishing.

Free-writing my life: here we go!

Alone often (it’s okay)

Love

Quiet

100s of swarming wasps around me

Running for clarity

Blisters from endurance

Conquering fear

The scent of horses

Ah-ha moments

Ph.D. (~> finally me!)

Multiple Sclerosis (~> why me?)

Molecular-biological driven insights

Playing the piano for audiences

Cognitive therapy

Confusion about my thought processes (=> MS)

Feeling others’ muscular knots being tied to emotions

Love

Triathlon!

Seeing the world from 11,000 feet (then jumping)

The Middle East and endless sand

Great Sand Dunes Nat’l Park (Colorado, USA)

Standing at the World Trade Center

Working at the FBI and Pentagon

Lost

Hearing a song named after me

Dodging jellyfish (I’m not fast enough)

Leader

Babysitting super-gorgeous, awesome kids

Teaching and seeing inspired faces

Love

Caution, being unsure

Pain, divorce, heartbreak

Meditation

Sunflowers, romaine, love renewed

Understanding deepens

Rainbow over vast expanse of sky

Gathering eggs

Mindfulness

Being Loved

Love

Love

Love

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

I’ll be around for the holidays, so drop me a line and let me know how you’re doing if you are so inclined. Also, please keep in mind the holidays can be a difficult time for a lot of people struggling out there. Please reach out and give love to others.

On a final note, I want to personally thank everyone who takes moments of precious time from your day to read what I have to say. I am incredibly fortunate to know you. Please know that when I mentioned, “love,” above, I was thinking about you.

We’re all surrounded by love. Just plug yourself in to the unending supply in the universe and feel the warmth!

Have you ever tried free writing? Did you have fun or what did you glean from it? Care to contribute a quick dozen phrases from your life in the comment box? Remember, we all have a hero’s journey to share. I’d love to hear yours!

♦ If you have some extra time this holiday season and you want to sift through a treasure trove of people’s stories, please visit  my Front Porch series.

Photo via Creative Commons license with thanks to DHausBT

Like this post at Jane Be Nimble? More are on the way! Get them emailed to your inbox or via RSS. I promise not to spam you or to sell your information. Ever.

I thought I’d drop you all a quick note. Hello!

Things have been a been a bit out of sorts in my neck of the woods. I’m getting accustomed to a new MS treatment that I embarked upon early this month and have been under some atypical stress lately. Because of this, I have put on the brakes regarding many of my activities, including internet-related things. I’m okay, but have felt a need to shift my priorities, which may only go on for a brief time yet (I have no idea at this point).

To my blogger buddies and friends, I want to tell you I am in deep gratitude for your support. I’m sorry I haven’t been by to comment as much and I miss y’all. I appreciate your mentions, too: Tim for the link love and mentioning my storytelling posts and Tony for adding me to your link page with custom-made blogger buttons—gorgeous!). Thank you.

In the mean time, I have been working on a contribution (interview #2) for my good friend Evita for the start of 2011 and reading an incredibly interesting book sent to me by Ms. Jerejian (@FormerNative) from FSB Media called Rebel Buddha, which I’ll describe before year’s end. (FCC disclaimer: I do not make commissions from clicked links or other profits from my blog. Which reminds me, I need to write a policy page one of these days and stop putting it off. *sigh*)

As you read this, please wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug from me.

Also, can you please do a favor for me (and the entire human community)?

Pretty please?

With a cherry on top?

Stop putting off doing those things in life which will bring you happiness.

∞  Change careers.

∞  Go running.

∞  I’ll say that again, go running.

∞  Climb a mountain.

∞  Learn a new language and study other cultures.

∞  Write your book.

∞  Go for a bike ride.

∞  Travel.

∞  Give unconditional love to a stranger.

∞  Love yourself.

You never know when things will change and you can’t go back.

Thank you—with a cherry on top.

Like this post at Jane Be Nimble? More are on the way! Get them emailed to your inbox or via RSS. I promise not to spam you or to sell your information. Ever.

“I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

While discussing life with a friend recently, she encouraged me to write this post with the thought that you may be inspired to live life more fully. Please don’t hesitate to exercise, treat your body with care and compassion, and to love someone today.

I do not write this post to illicit your sympathy. I write this because it feels good to release these thoughts into the wind. Fly, be free.

I have MS. She does not define me, but I live with her in my body. Some days I feel pretty good, other days I have a rough go of it—usually corresponding to large swings in the weather or high pressure systems (maybe I’m a witch?). I can’t predict when hard times will hit, and usually my symptoms will worsen overnight with no warning.

During much of this week, Ms. MS decided to beat her tom toms rather emphatically, with thick, padded mallets.

Please join me for a glimpse into my world.

My eyes flick open. The typical marine layer that usually covers the sky with a gray blanket is replaced by piercing sunshine with laser-like intensity.

I swivel my head to the left to take in the cloudless, sapphire sky outside my window and with the movement I immediately know all is not right with my body electric. I rub my eyes. My right eye tells me the world is fuzzy. My left eye argues with clarity.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and the world swirls around me—my legs feel heavy. “Uh oh, here we go.” I feel a moment of panic. Then drop my shoulders and relax by sinking into the pause at the top of the breath.

While my legs support me as I stand, they and my arms buzz like a bee hive. Kind of like the feeling as the dentist begins to numb your gums before filling a cavity. Annoying. My balance is off and I feel like I’m standing on a small boat, or on shifting sand.

I make my way to the mirror. Yup, right eye dilated this morning, but left eye lookin’ good. A decade ago, I lost my vision in my right eye for about six weeks from a MS relapse, and have some residual optic nerve damage in my right eye. Vision is fuzzy today. When my nervous system is taxed, my right pupil dilates.

I see Ms. MS in the reflection. With the corner of her lip upturned, heavy eyeliner, ruby-red lipstick, and fish-net stockings, “It’s my turn,” she says. “Ready for a wild ride?”

I take a deep breath, then sigh in resignation. I’ve learned it’s best not to fight her, but instead to love what she is teaching me—as an unexpected mentor of sorts.

I make my way to the kitchen, maybe I need some coffee to rev my nervous system. Then I notice the air temperature gauge on the wall, it’s about twenty degrees warmer than usual. Another typical trigger. I better lay off the hot coffee, I can’t afford to let my body temperature rise. I eat cold yogurt and drink water this morning. I’m heat-sensitive and have lost a lot of the insulation around my nerves, when my core temperature rises, the signals can’t arrive to their destinations as well.

My left leg is numb now, other limbs still buzzing.

The world rings around the rosie with a pocket full of posies—my mind glugs like used motor oil. I sit at the edge of the couch. Did I eat breakfast? I can’t remember. What day is it? I can’t recall, so I check my watch.

I was supposed to do something today. Wasn’t I? I check my handwritten to-do list I maintain on the wall, just in case my uninvited guest decides to give me a surprise visit overnight and my ability to recollect goes on vacation. I try to keep the list short, but I know I can’t do any of the things listed today. Not one.

I send a message to a long-time friend I was supposed to meet for lunch who was on my list today. I haven’t seen this person in a very long time and was looking forward to seeing a friend. It’s been too long away from my friends.

I cancel, saying I’d explain at a later date. I know he’ll understand.

My eyes well up.

I sit on the couch again. The room swirls around me.

I must cool off, so I place ice packs on my abdomen and in my arm pits and feel temporary relief. I lie on my back on the floor to make the room stop spinning.

I hear my cell phone ring within arm’s reach and reluctantly answer. I don’t like to worry people when they hear my words slurred and hear me struggle to put my thoughts together coherently. I tell the person not to worry if I sound drunk. Being drunk is a great analogy: knowing deep down what I want to say, but not able to put the words together. I am aware I sound goofy, but can’t do anything about it. I’m thankful for friends and family, but frustrated beyond words.

I feel deep gratitude that I can still read and listen to music. I know I won’t remember much of what I’m reading, but find comfort in authors’ words that usher me to other worlds beyond my body.

I’ve known Ms. MS long enough to know that her visit could last for eight hours or eight weeks, or this might be part of a continuing progression. I choose to think she’ll move on soon. This is simply a part of the sine wave of healing, better days will come. Thoughts are powerful. Meditation is powerful. I’ve surrounded myself with a powerful village. (I am grateful to you all, you know who you are. If you think I’m referring to you, you’re probably right.) And, I am convinced one day my hubs will reveal his feathery angel wings to me. I am a lucky woman in so many ways.

The barometer falls once again and my symptoms are less intense for now. Ms. MS started packing her bags again as of last night. I can see her thumbing for a ride outside my window—good riddance. My mind gathers the strewn sticks and blown leaves and I build a bonfire. The rebuilding process begins once again.

Thank you for reading this snippet of my life. Much love to you. Think of three things for which you are grateful today and smile.

Live. Love. Pass it on.
________________________________________________________________________________________
Post Script: In her book, On Being Ill, Virginia Woolf wrote, “Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change that it brings…it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love and battle and jealousy among the prime themes of literature….There is a virgin forest in each [person]; a snowfield where even the print of birds’ feet is unknown.”
I love her words—I couldn’t agree more.

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{Reading time: ~6 minutes}

Having been named one the top ten personal development blogs by someone I admire, Annabel Candy of Get in the Hot Spot (thanks Annabel!), I suppose it’s time I acknowledge that many of my posts could fall into the personal development space.

I blog about writing, creativity, fitness, wellness, storytelling, leadership, and science. It’s fair to say I really don’t fit into a niche. A thread that ties together my posts might be supporting others while infusing personal stories. I tend to resist proffering advice unless I’ve done something myself and can use my experience as a vehicle for discussing a topic.

To embrace the Personal Development genre for today, I’m offering my Top Three Tips for topics that I find interesting, including some which I have yet to write about at JaneBeNimble.

Take these with a grain of salt and a dash of humor, too. Thank you.

Three tips to bring more love into your life

1) Give more love. (I gave 40 acts of love and will be writing about the snowball effect this created).

2) Love yourself.

3) Love the planet.

Three tips to become a vegetarian

1) Don’t try to substitute meat with meat-molded-veggie-tofu-like products (you’ll only be disappointed). E.g., no Tofrukey for me! Try a lentil taco (mmm) or a Portobello mushroom sandwich (double mmm).

2) Spend the spring and summer butchering chickens in a factory, then the fall and winter helping out on an overpopulated cattle yard. That will work wonders for you to see where much of your food comes from and how shitty this is for us and our planet.

3) Make a commitment to keep around your home lots of fresh produce, spices, dry beans, nuts, and the like, and investigate ways to cook them (or eat raw). Yum!

Three tips to enjoy sex

1) Tell your partner what you want. He/she can’t read your mind.

2) Masturbate. Self love is essential and fun.

3) Don’t be self-conscious. Being comfortable with yourself and your body is sexy!

Three tips to declutter

1) Donate your books or send to friends, and start using the library.

2) Go through your stuff and think, “Am I hanging onto this for a memory?” Stop clinging to the past and start making new memories without the need to hang on to physical pieces of them.

3) Stop buying stuff! If you have to have a new something (pen, shirt, jewelry, car, doohickey, etc.) give away or donate something you already have before you buy more junk to replace it. (And read this post about living with less.)

Three tips to be more healthy

1) Energy in should equal energy out. Don’t eat more than you burn. Simple, isn’t it?

2) Get a good night’s sleep.

3) Exercise.

Three tips to help you sleep

1) Stop consuming caffeine: coffee, black tea, Red Bull, chocolate. If that seems impossible, stop consuming caffeine after 11 AM.

2) Get off your stinkin’ computer, or stop using other light-emitting devices, at least two to three hours before bed time. Studies have shown this wavelength of light can interrupt sleepy time.

3) Refer to the above category, “Three ways to enjoy sex.”

(Note: If none of these work, read my Ph.D thesis about RNA aptamers as decoys for transcription factors. Zzzz…)

Three tips to find treasure

1) Remove the couch cushions, you’re almost guaranteed to find enough to feed the meter.

2) Check your coat pockets from last winter. No joke here, I used to leave a few bucks in my winter coat pockets just so I’d be surprised the next fall when I grabbed the coat and reached into the pockets! I know, I know, how lame! But, it surprised me every time to find a few bills in my pocket. Whoo hoo!

3) Look in the mirror. You are a treasure, see yourself and all your beauty. Give of yourself to others.

Three tips to deepen your friendships

1) Ask for help.

2) Don’t judge the actions of others, try to put yourself in their shoes.

3) Send a little package, and this does not mean buying more crap. I sent someone a sand dollar I found on the beach the other day. Also, a little note in one’s mailbox can mean more than you think.

Three tips for writing better posts (or email messages, or short stories)

1) Please, please, please proofread your work. I read my prose forward, backward, and then have my Mac read my work aloud for me, too. It’s amazing what you’ll catch when you hear or read aloud your work.

2) Cut 10-20% of your words from your original draft. This is still difficult for me, but I’m working on it.

3) Live! Adventures and experiences make for savory stories. Then, infuse these nibblets into your writing.

Three tips to enjoy being a stepparent

1) You don’t have to be your stepkids’ mom or dad, and they probably don’t want you to be, either. But, you can be their friend and even their confidant.

2) Share your spouse’s love—and yours—with your stepkids. There’s plenty to go around. Love is a renewable resource!

3) It’s pretty cool, really, to have people in your life who love you as a stepmom or stepdad. Savor this special relationship.

Three tips to learn to draw

1) Grab a pencil and go! Find an object on your desk to start. I drew an acorn the other day that rocked!

2) Find a book about drawing, but don’t delay. Tips are great, but they aren’t near as valuable as practice.

3) Don’t over think it. Do it!

Three tips to meditate

1) Get comfortable. I lie on my back, arms across my chest.

2) Start by breathing in, over about four or more seconds. Breathe out, for four or more seconds.

3) Follow your breath, counting from one to seven. First inbreath is ONE, then say or think a sound or word on the outbreath; I usually say ohhmmm. When you get to seven, start over.

(Disclaimer: Obviously, there is a myriad of ways to meditate, this is my version.)

Three tips for finishing a marathon

1) Find a good pillar of support: a coach, mentor, fellow runner, or running group. Sign up for the race that will give you six to eight months to train.

2) Steadily increase a long run each weekend, no more than 10% each week, with your longest run two to three weeks before the marathon. Run a shorter run about every third or forth weekend to help your body recover and rebuild.

3) There’s really no need to run for longer than about three hours during your longest training runs.

Three tips to meet a mermaid

1) Become proficient swimming in the ocean with no wetsuit or other implements, e.g., snorkel.

2) Think of yourself as the magical, beautiful being you already are—mermaids love people who already love themselves.

3) Swim at least 2 km from shore, preferably to an area with a current. Be open to possibility.

Ta da! Thanks for humoring me.

My questions for you:

If you’re a blogger, what blogging “niche” do you fill? Or do you think about this as much as you think about your toenails?

Or, what three tips can you proffer for us in the comments?

Or if you don’t blog, what entices you to read blogs?

Create a great day! Love to y’all.

[Photo courtesy Alaskan Dude via Creative Commons license.]

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Shifting Sand

The roof of the tent
drooped to a sag.

Relentless rain
twisted into my cot.

With the passing seconds,
the minutes clicked into past tense.

It’s time to sit by the sandbags
and keep watch.

It’s only fair,
and my turn.

How did I arrive here,
in this desert abyss?

Please upend the hourglass,
I can no longer stand on shifting sand.

_______________________________________

If you feel up to it, try your hand at a poem in the comments (or just say hello). Or, write a poem, post it to your blog, and add your link to the masterful poetry taking shape over at One Stop Poetry.

Much love to you all!

One Shot Wednesday!

This is a contribution to “One Shot Poetry Wednesday.” Stop by One Stop Poetry and check out some of the most amazing poetry I’ve read in awhile. Why not make a poetic contribution, yourself? It feels good.

[Top image courtesy United Blue via Creative Commons license.]

♦ My previous submission: The Human Element & Gogyohka!

More posts about your Body Electric, Writing, and LOVE are coming soon, stay tuned. If you liked this or other posts, let you friends know. I’d love to meet them, too.

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Can someone please help me find my socks?

They’ve been blown off my feet.

My post today has two parts, a introduction to a very special author and her book, and a meet-n-greet with two women breathing change—while walking the walk. I couldn’t help but to spend time today glowing about these women. (Does the screen already seem brighter to you?)

I love stories and can’t seem to stop talking about them. Whether it’s a story shared by the water cooler or a masterful shamanistic story, stories move us. Stories heal.

A friend sent me a copy of Robin Easton’s book titled “Naked in Eden” and I dove into it with no expectations. I trusted the sender not to send me tripe, but was not quite sure what to expect.

[I'm not an affiliate, I don't sell anything or make money from my blog. Click all links as much as you feel compelled. I'm trying to develop a platform not a business. Is it working? Please don't answer that question. Thank you.]

Here’s what I discovered while reading Naked in Eden…

Masterful story telling: Robin knows how to tell a story and keep a person hanging on every word. Try it, that’s a difficult skill to master. I’d love to take a meandering walk with Robin, I will bet good money she has some great stories up her sleeve!

Laughter: I loved Robin’s glossary of Aussie Slang. Since her hubs is Australian, the glossary helped me process some of the conversational text. I wasn’t totally lost, but a few words had me guessing until I referenced the glossary. Plus, now I can sling some phrases to my Aussie blogging friends and sound cool. There’s also a hilarious analogy about how hard it is for some of us to ask for directions, but I’ll leave that as a surprise when yewse read the book. So funny!

Adventure: That’s Adventure with a capital “A.” You’ll be taken from snake encounters, to cliff scaling, to crocodile-populated waters back to butterfly births and the deeper meaning of the circle of life. Holy Racing Heart, Batgirl Robin, you really know how to get my ticker pumping. (Tick tock, defibrillator, anyone? George, can I get a jump?)

A deeper meaning—connection to Nature: Robin lived in a rainforest with her hubs with very few supplies, including clothing, and deepened her relationship with Nature. I could relate to many of her words having grown up on a farm, eating food raised using our own hands. To know where one’s food comes from is a lost story these days. Her story had such a strong impact, I still think about it several times a day. And, no, it’s not all about food, it’s about connection and our relationship with our Mother Earth.

Don’t take it from me, other Divas have also written about Robin’s book, too. See Tess’ post, Patty’s post, and Evita’s post, for starters.

As an aside, no one asked me to discuss this book here at JaneBeNimble or at Twitter. I’m writing this because I want to, I’m a tree-hugger, I love this planet, and I’m an unapologetic bleeding heart. I’m not going to stop talking about this topic and spreading the word until we do something to raise our collective consciousness to reconnect our relationship with Mum Nature.

Breathing Change

I follow a blog near and dear to my heart—Susannah’s photography feeds my soul just as much as her writing. I happened across a guest today at her blog, and they both use actions, not just words, to incite change.

These are my kind of gals!

The post is titled, Changing the World, One Breath at a Time. Susannah’s guest, Marianne Elliott, is a writer, a human rights advocate and a yoga teacher.

It’s difficult to summarize Marianne’s rich experiences, but here’s a brief snippet from her About page:

“Later, in Afghanistan I headed up a new provincial office for the United Nations Mission in Afghanistan, where I learned the difference between striving for change and being of service. These days, I aim to be of service.”

“In my spare time, I co-wrote a UNIFEM report on Gender-Based Violence in Afghanistan. I wrote it in my spare time because there was no other time to write and I thought it had to be written.”

I suggest you visit to learn more about her.

I could say so much about both Susannah and Marianne, I love how they choose to expend their energy. I have decided to follow Susannah’s lead by taking up Marianne’s offer to help others by signing up for a 30-day online Yoga program with Marianne. Taking a sort of Karmic pay-what-you-can approach, Marianne is donating every dollar to those in need and suggests we donate only what feels good. See specifics here. (Registration is open now until October 3rd. Again, I get nothing out of mentioning this other than the opportunity to help others and feeling good in the process. Mmmm…)

I want to focus my energy on mindfulness and breathing, so this is perfect timing. The course can be tailored to your needs (e.g., I’m concerned less about flexibility and weight loss, more about stress relief and meditation). I was pointed to an article recently that discussed a study where mindfulness (meditation) was shown to improve the physical and emotional well-being of people with MS. (Thank you, Debbie!)

The synergy of life never ceases to amaze me. We all are surrounded by people ready to help. People doing good things in this world. If we keep our eyes, minds, and hearts open, the answers will come.

Do something today. Love someone. Love someone even if it’s difficult. Especially if it’s difficult.

Click to register

Thanks for being here today!

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